Kathy Griffin made a $2 million deal with Random House to write her memoir. That’s like $1,999,999 too much.

The most exciting thing to ever happen to Kathy was being dumped by Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak. However, it’s not so much how boring your life is, it’s how you tell the story that makes all the difference.

Poor Erica Hill was trying to report live from Times Square for Anderson Cooper, when a random rude dude did some v tongue live on television. Anderson seemed more concerned that Kathy Griffin had already punched him twice. CNN is so classy.

Kathy Griffin was at Times Square tonight with Anderson Cooper to ring in 2009, when Kathy started getting heckled, so she said:

"Why don’t you get a job buddy. You know what, I don’t go to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth."

Happy New Year y’all!

Kathy Griffin and billionaire Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak have not only ended their relationship, Kathy says Steve is marrying someone else:

"I got an email last week from him, and he is going to marry someone else. I think he might be married. I don’t really know that for sure, though. He is an awesome guy, but I have to say he is in the friends category now. He’s totally a life-long friend."

Dumped by email! That’s gotta hurt. If Steve really is marrying someone else, we’ll see if Kathy remains on his "friends" list. There goes her meal ticket.

Kathy Griffin appeared at the opening of Diablo’s Cantina at Monte Carlo Resort and Casino in Las Vegas on Saturday with her boyfriend Steve Wozniak, who may soon become her fiance. Steve is a billionaire, and co-founder of Apple Computer, Inc. In September Kathy said the following on Larry King Live:

" What do you make, Lar? You make a few million a year? He craps that out for lunch. I mean this guy has so much money — but I love him for his personality."

She’s got her mind on his money, and his money on her mind. Money can’t buy Steve love, but it can sure buy Kathy. Click here to see her interview with Larry King. Kathy makes no bones about being after Steve for his money. Isn’t it cute how Steve uses the green fan to keep Kathy cool? Couldn’t he just pay someone to do that? No way, he wants Kathy all to himself.