Sam Lutfi sent a text message to Ryan Seacrest for Britney Spears saying the In Touch story that Britney is pregnant with J.R. Rotem’s baby “is b.s.,” and “It’s fake. Completely fake. Just wrapped her video. Going home to sleep.”

I feel like I’ve just had a 2 ton weight lifted off my shoulders, but I can’t help thinking these pregnancy rumors must be getting leaked by someone close to Britney.

Britney Spears is pregnant with J.R. Rotem’s baby reports In Touch:

On November 14, Britney Spears confided to her friends in e-mails that she was four weeks pregnant — and that she was sure the father was J.R. Rotem, a music producer she’s been seeing on and off since she separated from ex-husband Kevin Federline in 2006. When asked about the pregnancy, J.R. confirmed exclusively to In Touch that Britney is carrying his child. "It’s true," he says. On November 16, she proudly e-mailed a copy of the ultrasound to her inner circle. For all her recent troubles, she seems convinced that having another baby will turn her life around — and she believes that J.R. will make a great father, even though he explicitly talked about their sex life in Blender magazine earlier this year. "Britney’s not looking for another husband," an insider says. "But she does like having a man in her life."

This is crazy. First reports that Britney is adopting Chinese twins, and now thumbing her nose at the court for taking away custody of her kids, and having another one. Insane!

Life & Style reports that Britney Spears was getting Depo-Provera injections every three months as a contraceptive, but thought it was making her gain weight, so she went on the pill. A source says:

"She’s constantly forgetting where she put them. "She seems to find it amusing, she laughs at how scattered she is."

Other sources allege Britney is getting banged by Sam Lutfi and JR Rotem. Gross, times two. The source says:

"She seems to think that just because she isn’t in a formal relationship, she’s somehow immune to getting pregnant."

The source added that Britney thinks casual sex can’t get you pregnant. Britney and Kevin Federline’s expenses are now coming out in the divorce, and are listed below:

Britney’s Expenses:
• $102,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation
• $49,267 on mortgage payments
• $16,000 on clothes
• $4,758 on eating out
• $2,500 on phone bills

Kevin’s Expenses:
• $5,000 on entertainment, gifts and vacation
• $7,500 on rent
• $2,000 on clothes
• $1,500 on eating out
• $750 on phone bills

It’s odd that all the divorce records are public since Britney’s attorneys asked for the records to be sealed. Perhaps that only pertained to records dealing with drugs, and lesbianism. A source quotes Britney as saying about Kim Kardashian:

"I really love Kim’s butt, skin and hair. Kim is a real women. A real horny beast."

That endorsement should do wonders for Kim’s whore career. Lesbian powers activated.

JR Rotem has turned Britney Spears on to Zohar, a book on Jewish mysticism. The only problem is, Britney can only read popup books. They stopped at a GNC for more health stuff, but they didn’t buy anything. Looks like they haven’t made much progress on getting Britney healthy again. However, the pair did manage to get a flat tire. The paparazzi changed it, while the cops watched. It must be amazing to be a celebrity. It’s like being a baby. Other people feed you, change your tires, and wipe your a$$. Britney once again adorned herself with a hat, and brought along her dog. I wonder if the dog barks at people when Britney is eating in resturaunts. I’m not a big fan of Britney’s hats. How about putting an apple on her head, and let me try to shoot it off? Apparently Britney will never learn how to exit a car without looking like a trucker.

Britney Spears‘ junkie/dealer friend JR Rotem showed up at her hotel at 2 a.m. the other night, and now their shopping off their hangover. Britney’s neck looks really red like JR has been sucking on it. He must have needed something salty to go with his beer.