Jessica Alba was at the paparazzi haven Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills on Monday night, but she forgot something. She left her smile at home, and her bra.

At least this time she didn’t try to hide her face, or anything else.

Jessica Alba got her nails done at Nails Design on Wilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hills. The paparazzi had a tough time getting a clear shot of her, because she kept covering her face. She did the same thing when I tried to get a shot of her in Vancouver, B.C. back in August 2007. Maybe it’s because she never smiles even though she’s pregnant. She should be happy. One of these days no one will want her picture, then she’ll be crying instead of frowning all the time.

The Love Guru was written and stars Mike Myers, and costars Verne Troyer, Jessica Alba, and Justin Timberlake doesn’t look that great. The writing is really good, but what threw me off was Meyers accent, which just didn’t fit the character. Maybe it was just me, but I didn’t laugh at all. Even Timberlake wasn’t funny, but he could have been if would have put a box over his thing.

Jessica Alba wrote an essay for Ellyn Spragins’ upcoming book of essays from female celebrities. Jessica says she developed big boobs at an early age, so she was labeled a sixth-grade slut by her elementary school principal and a couple of "self-righteous" PTA moms. Jessica adds:

"Boys are awful. They are made of nothing but hormones until they’re about 20 or 21 . . . It’s fun to have a crush, but don’t think it’s forever . . . And use birth control and condoms, please."

If boys are made of nothing but hormones until 20 or 21, then what are six grade sluts made out of?

It has been reported that Jessica Alba is one of a long list of celebrities who is pregnant with twins. Many of the celebrities are suspected of using fertility drugs to conceive twins, however, an insider says Alba did not use fertility drugs, but may be having two babies from two different daddies. The odds of this happening are incredible, but not impossible, especially if the double conception occurred within a few hours. We will see for sure when the babies start to grow up. If at least one doesn’t look like Cash Warren, then we’ll want to know who the other daddy is. At least one person knows for sure, and that’s Alba.