Jessica Alba wrote an essay for Ellyn Spragins’ upcoming book of essays from female celebrities. Jessica says she developed big boobs at an early age, so she was labeled a sixth-grade slut by her elementary school principal and a couple of "self-righteous" PTA moms. Jessica adds:

"Boys are awful. They are made of nothing but hormones until they’re about 20 or 21 . . . It’s fun to have a crush, but don’t think it’s forever . . . And use birth control and condoms, please."

If boys are made of nothing but hormones until 20 or 21, then what are six grade sluts made out of?

It has been reported that Jessica Alba is one of a long list of celebrities who is pregnant with twins. Many of the celebrities are suspected of using fertility drugs to conceive twins, however, an insider says Alba did not use fertility drugs, but may be having two babies from two different daddies. The odds of this happening are incredible, but not impossible, especially if the double conception occurred within a few hours. We will see for sure when the babies start to grow up. If at least one doesn’t look like Cash Warren, then we’ll want to know who the other daddy is. At least one person knows for sure, and that’s Alba.

Miley Cyrus, aka Hannah Montana had the number one movie at the box office this weekend with her "Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour" 3-D movie, which opened on only 683 screens, but still brought in $29 million.

Jessica Alba’s remake movie The Eye came in at a surprising number two. Eva Longoria’s movie Over Her Dead Body didn’t even make the top ten list. Good thing Eva married a rich NBA star.

The top ten movies were:

1. Hannah Montana - $29 million
2. The Eye - $13 million
3. 27 Dresses - $8.4 million
4. Juno - $7.4 million
5. Meet the Spartans - $7.1 million
6. Rambo - $7 million
7. The Bucket List - $6.8 million
8. Untraceable - $5.4 million
9. Cloverfield - $4.9 million
10. There Will Be Blood - $4.7 million

Miley and Hannah are taking over.

Tyra Banks just threw a $6,000 worth of presents baby shower for Jessica Alba, and Jessica barely cracked a smile. However, Jessica did reveal her breast cup size went from a 32B to a 34D, so now there’s two more reasons not to look at Jessica’s frown.

Tyra has a million more reasons to keep smiling. She just inked another TV deal. Here’s more:

Tyra Banks has signed a deal with the CW to create a new reality show that’s being described as The Devil Wears Prada meets The Apprentice. “It is a competition show about aspiring assistants looking to become assistant editors at a fashion magazine,” producer Ken Mok said. The show, which is still looking for a high-fashion magazine to host the series, is aiming to hit the airwaves this spring and will most likely act as a companion piece to cycle 11 of America’s Next Top Model.

Each episode will see the Andy Sachs-wannabes creating a page for “The Book” (a mock-up of the magazine’s next issue) with the losing team kicking off a member. The eventual winner will land an as-yet-unnamed job in the fashion industry. Also yet to be seen is how closely the show will adhere to the movie’s plot, but fingers crossed for a makeover challenge, lots of size 6 jokes and trip to Paris Fashion Week, where inevitably the girls will throw their Sidekicks into the nearest fountain just to really drive the point home.

Tyra is like Oprah 2.0, only fewer tears.

Jessica Alba has had a string of box office bombs lately, so her star is fading, but she’s got a new star growing in her womb. Keep covering your face Jessica, all we want to see is the bump anyway.