Nicole Richie pleaded guilty to driving under the influence of drugs and was sentenced to serve four days in her choice of city or county jail. She was credited the fifth day for the six hours she served after being arrested. She was also fined $2,048 and ordered to complete a 21 day alcohol education course, and to serve three years probation.

This seems a little harsh, after all Richie’s only crime was breaking the law. You have to kill at least two people to get any significant jail time. Too bad she didn’t get her DUI in Texas where they put you to death for having an overdue library book.

In light of this decison I’d just like to say, Kickass! Drunk driving is almost legal again! Take that M.A.D.D.! Now excuse me, I’m going to go celebrate by driving 50 laps around the Glendale police station as fast as I can while doing bong hits, Jaeger shots, and squealing my tires.

Uh-oh, Lilo! We knew that Lindsay Lohan’s SCRAM ankle bracelet was a sham!

The arrest happened early this morning and TMZ has been reporting the rapidly changing details. A rundown of the details…in the order it broke, so you can enjoy the ludicrous nature of the Firecrotch downward spiral. We only wish they had pics and video!

According to the L.A. County Sheriff’s Dept., 21-year-old Lohan was nailed around 2:15 AM near Pico Boulevard and Main Street early Tuesday morning.

Lindsay Lohan was popped for possession of cocaine, driving under the influence, transporting a narcotic into a custodial facility and driving on a suspended license. Sources say her blood alcohol level was between .12 and .13, well over the .08 legal limit.

Cops tell TMZ cocaine was found in her pants pocket [during a search at the station].

If convicted, she would almost certainly do time, especially with another possible DUI looming.

Law enforcement now says Lohan was stopped after cops got a call of a vehicle being chased by another vehicle. The chasing vehicle was being driven by Lohan.

Lohan was driving a white Denali. She was chasing a Cadillac Escalade.

Lindsay Lohan is out of jail.

Law enforcement sources say Lohan was cooperative in jail. We’re told she was very upset.

A law enforcement source at the Santa Monica jail tells TMZ "she did just about everything we asked."

…[except] She refused to submit to a PASD — Preliminary Alcohol Screening Device. That’s a chemical test administered in the field to determine blood alcohol levels.

We’re told cops did administer a walk-the-line test, and Lindsay flunked.

The sophisticated SCRAM alcohol monitoring device which Lindsay Lohan voluntarily strapped around her leg wasn’t the reason cops busted her for DUI Thursday morning.

TMZ contacted a rep from the company that monitors the SCRAM bracelet who said, "I didn’t even know she was arrested."

And there you have it folks! If Nicole Richie gets thrown in jail in August, we’ll have a trifecta. Who would have thought that Paris Hilton’s offenses would be the least dramatic.

A coke-fueled, drunken chase in an SUV. You can’t make this stuff up!

Will Paris Hilton’s suffering never end??

The only ones who seem surprised to learn that Hilton received special treatment in jail seem to be members of the Sheriff’s Department Union.

MSNBC reports that the union members’ inquiries sparked an investigation that was opened Thursday.

The internal probe will examine whether the hotel heiress was given free access to a cordless phone instead of being forced to wait in line to use a pay phone at certain hours, sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore said.

Also under scrutiny are claims Hilton received a new jail uniform instead of the recycled ones given to many inmates and that her mail was delivered by a captain instead of inmate trusties, Whitmore said.

But, wait, didn’t Paris even draw a picture for TMZ of her sad self, waiting by the pay phone? Let’s hope they log that as "evidence" that she did suffer just as much as everyone else. Bologna sandwiches and freezing cells, kind guards, but no special treatment. That’s the party line at the Hilton camp.

If just one of these guards had managed to take a cell-phone pic of Paris on the potty and shared the proceeds with the other union members, there wouldn’t be an investigation.

TMZ has just revealed that Paris Hilton is whoring herself out in more arena: denim.

"Sources tell TMZ that the former jailbird flew to San Francisco on Wednesday for a top secret meeting with Macy’s executives to discuss her new denim line. Let’s hope they’re not crotchless! We’re told the reaction from Macy’s was amazing, so expect to see Paris jeans at a mall near you…"

She’s got some slutty, er, stiff competition, as Posh Spice Beckham has just started her own line of denim as well. Why don’t they just team up? The sizes would be simple: easy peasy, somewhat slutty, and full-bore-whore.

Source

It had been widely reported that Paris Hilton had been seen at Les Deux in Hollywood this weekend.

TMZ has a picture of her climbing into an SUV that night.

OK! Magazine has details of the wild night on the town and it doesn’t sound like she’s curtailed her drinking and hooking up.

“Paris was dancing away on the black-leather cushions of her booth, along with her friends and Nicky,” another witness adds. “She looked really happy to be free from the confines of that tiny jail cell.” And Paris wasted no time in getting wasted, both sources tell OK!. She ordered and downed two shots of Jaegermeister within her first 10 minutes there…

"By the time Paris got ready to leave, she was pretty drunk,” the eyewitness tells OK!. "Toward the end of the night, she was sitting on the top edge of her booth, making-out with a dark-haired guy who was sporting a couple days growth of beard. While they kissed, Paris was holding up a brown fedora hat, and they were kissing behind the hat, so people couldn’t see. But still, sitting up high like that on the back of her booth, with 200 people clamoring to watch her every move, if she was trying to be coy, it didn’t work!”

Tequila shots? Sucking face with an apparent stranger?

Ahhhh…we knew the old Paris would prevail over the Saintly Paris promoted during her whirlwind, philosophy-spouting, not-so-mea-culpa, post-jail media tour.

Read more…