This kid looks just like a young Jack Osbourne to us.

Jack Osbourne, seen here as part of a skank sandwich, apparently did "the dirty" with none other than jailbird Paris Hilton.

Oh Jack, hero to the decidedly uncool and schlumpy strivers of the world.

It’s a tad disturbing that it’s his parents, Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne, who are telling the tale, but it’s awesome nonetheless.

According to The Sun, the secret was revealed unintentionally, but the parents were quite proud of their overachieving son.

Ozzy said: “Paris was always hanging around our house. I’m not sure if she was a friend of KELLY or AMY — which one was it, Sharon?”

Sharon looked a bit sheepish and stumbled over her words as she replied: “She was Jack’s, erm, friend.” Ozzy’s jaw dropped and he exclaimed: “He didn’t shag her, did he? Well done, my son!”

The Sun story goes on to include chatter about them selling their Beverly Hills home to Christina Aguilera and how they just couldn’t stay there any longer with all the strange visitors and stalkers.

Funny, though, the rest of the story is kind of a blur. All we could think about is how we’d like to high five Jack.

Of course, then our thoughts wandered to whether Jack took the proper precautions when he was with Paris.

Now, we’re thinking we’d like to high five him, but wearing gloves.

And goggles.

Read more…

Pete Doherty tries to kiss Kate Moss and misses even with his eyes open. Pete kissed her nose instead, and she was left with puckered lips kissing air. If Pete can’t do it Jack Osbourne will, and says he did.

Jack Osbourne said he kissed Kate Moss, and that was enough to send Pete Doherty into a rage. Doherty will no doubt sedate himself, and forget about the whole thing. Here’s more:

Pete Doherty has blasted Jack Osbourne over claims he kissed Pete’s fiancée Kate Moss.

The Babyshambles frontman branded Jack – the son of rocker Ozzy Osbourne – a t**t for claiming he once smooched with the supermodel at a party, saying it just "felt just right’.

Pete is livid adrenaline junkie Jack is using the story to promote his autobiography, ’21 Years Gone’, in which the revelations were made.

Pete fumed: "To use Kate like that, it’s just not right. I mean, even if they did kiss before I was with her, it’s not right. The t**t is out of order.’

The wild rocker – who is said have kicked his heroin and crack cocaine addictions since Kate gave him the ultimatum, ’It’s the drugs or me’ – insists the kiss never even happened.

He said: "Kate denied kissing him and that’s that. It’s just a foolish jibe.’

Jack Osbourne slipped into a cute pair of hot pink skivvies after a long day surfing. Jack is a very confident young man, who is secure with his manhood. Keep an eye on Jack, he’s got a bright pink future.