Paris Hilton had her interview with Larry King, and Larry asked the tough questions.

Larry: Have you ever been addicted to drugs?

Paris: No.

Larry: Taken drugs?

Paris: No.

Larry: Never taken drugs?

Paris: No.

Paris hasn’t changed at all. She still thinks we’re all stupid, and we should just believe whatever she says, but that’s not gonna happen. Below is a video of Paris smoking marijuana in Amsterdam, and if you click the link below you can also see Paris with her mushrooms. Paris talks about helping other people, but she can’t do that until she is honest with herself and the public. It’s not like her life is a secret.

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Nicole Richie, in her interview with Nylon Magazine, wants to make the point that she has a J.O.B. and that it’s our fault she’s famous.

“I don’t have a clue why I’m famous. I didn’t make myself famous… You’re doing it. I think people just want to say, ‘Oh, she doesn’t have a job she doesn’t do anything.’ They get off on that. But I do have a job, like everyone else.”

This is the same type of protesting we heard from Paris Hilton last night.

Listen, ladies. We get it. You own businesses. You get paid for being famous. You have a TV show. Technically, that means you work for a living.

It’s just that we all realize that you’re famous for being famous, hence the profitable businesses and getting paid to wear clothes, show up at clubs, etc.

But you DID make yourself famous. It would be really refreshing if you would just admit that you’ve cultivated the fame.

It’s genius! You’ve planted, watered, and weeded that notoriety garden and basked in the glow of the paparazzi sun that made your fame, and money, grow.

Really, can you complain when a little manure gets tossed in?

People magazine has released excerpts of their Paris Hilton "exclusive" cover story.

Delusional Paris quotes from the article include this assessment of her own character:

"I’m a good person. I’m a compassionate person. I have a big heart. I’m sincere, and they’ll see."

Her description of the "medical condition" that resulted in her short-lived re-assignment to home detention:

"I was basically in the fetal position, basically in hysterics … and having severe anxiety and panic attacks."

And an explanation for her rapid jailhouse conversion, and a heart-warming recollection of her social life in the big house:

"There was a nun who works at the jail for all the ladies, and she would come every day and we would pray," she said. "There were girls next to me. … We could talk through the vents and they were just really sweet."

That poor devoted Sister. All that work with the convicts and daily reading of the Word for three-and-a-half weeks, yet Paris couldn’t think of one favorite Bible passage for Larry King last night.

Trying to help Paris during that uncomfortable pause, we feebly shouted a suggestion to the TV screen.

Jesus wept! Jesus wept!

Jesus wept, indeed.

Paris Hilton’s Larry King Interview was chock full of nuggets, but perhaps none better than this little gem:

"I’m just not a big drinker. I’m not really into it."

Really, folks. She said it. In Paris’ defense, she may honestly not remember that she has ever had a drink. She probably doesn’t even remember why she was in prison. It’s a miracle that she didn’t forget where she was halfway through the interview and panic.

Paris also claimed in the interview that she has never used drugs. Another likely story. It’s clear that Paris has no interest in developing any kind of honest relationship with either the media or the public. I’ll go out on a limb here and guess that she has learned absolutely nothing for her little stay behind bars.

The good news here is that she will no doubt provide us with years of boneheaded behavior to make us all feel like bona fide geniuses.

That’s deep, brothers and sisters.

To think America’s Paris Hilton, crotch-flashing, sex-tape-profiting, celebutard, can utter that bit of wisdom on Larry King "Live" with a straight face and nary an eyelash flutter.

Maybe she’s really changed. Perhaps we’re in for some real surprises during the show…which turns out not to be live. Who knew?