Paula Abdul is constantly denying rumors that she’s a drunk, and says she doesn’t even drink. On her new show Hey Paula, we caught her drinking wine until she started making a fool of herself, all while trying out perfume she dropped on the floor of a laboratory. In the second video Paula wants to go to Starbucks in the middle of the night, but doesn’t even know what is on the menu, because she’s usually drinking alcohol I’m thinking. If you like watching drunks make fools of themselves, then you’ll love Hey Paula.

Personally, I’d rather feed apples to cows and watch them stumble around drunk until they explode from the apple gas.

We reported earlier that Bravo’s new show "Hey Paula" documents the stumbling, bumbling, slurring life of Paula Abdul. Apparently that’s not her only big news these days.

Us Weekly reports in its new issue that for the past few months the American Idol judge has been dating restauranteur (sic) JT Torregiani, who threw a 45th birthday party for his lady on June 19 at Ketchup, the West Hollywood eatery he co-owns (along with actress Tara Reid).

“You could tell she was so happy to be with him,” says a witness at the bash, which included Idol alums Jordin Sparks, Blake Lewis and Chris Richardson.

“They were cuddling all night.”

The star and the Dolce Group partner, 32, met through friends, and a source says they’re getting pretty serious.

“She introduces him to everyone as her boyfriend,” the insider tells Us. “It’s really cute how she’s so smitten.”

I don’t know about you, but I stopped reading at Tara Reid. Can you imagine those two running in the same circles? It’s gotta be a battle royale as everyone waits with baited breath to find out who will pass out first. On the bright side, they both speak drunken gibberish.

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Move over Britney, Paris, Nicole, and Lindsay (Or, as I like to call them, the "whore corps")–there’s a new trainwreck in town, and she’s looking to get a little more media attention. "Hey Paula," a docudrama on the life of Paula Abdul (they had us at "Hey Paula"), has just debuted on Bravo and, according to MSNBC’s Andy Dehnart, it’s a very different Paula than we have ever seen.

There are actually two Paulas on Bravo’s new series: the diva and the comic. Paula is unexpectedly hysterical, occasionally throwing off witty one-liners. “The last time I had a hit record, Bill and Hillary were having sex,” she says. At another point, she mangles a self-effacing joke about Joan Rivers commenting on her clothing, and Paula manages to crack herself up.

Fun Paula, however, is less prominent than spoiled, demanding Diva Paula. On the way to the airport, for instance, she discovers her assistants haven’t packed sweat pants or comfortable jeans for her red-eye flight, but have instead chosen pants that Paula says are too tight.

Well, Paula, those booze/vicodin dinners probably cause bloating. But don’t go changing any time soon. A TV show that documents the life of someone who is self-imploding…we haven’t had this much fun since "Breaking Bonaduce!"

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