When Heidi Montag posed for Playboy, Spencer Pratt said in the interview portion:

"I bet you made more than Lady GaGa this year even though she has a number one record. ’Oh, Heidi Montag has no talent!,’ my f*cking a$$! If you have no talent, then I don’t know what talent is. You must be the most talented untalented person on earth."

If talent is creating fake drama, and constantly lying because you think everyone is a fool except you, then both Spencer and Heidi are very talented.

Heidi Montag told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show yesterday:

"Always leave them asking for more. Next time, I’ll have more to reveal."

Tease.

"For me personally, I feel like God created the body, and the body is beautiful. The way God created us was n*ked. So I am not ashamed of it. I’m proud of it. This was such a blessed experience."

Liar.

If Heidi really believed that she would have taken it all off the first time. Playboy forgot the golden rule with a tease, either put out or get out. Playboy has already wasted their money printing pictures that aren’t worthy of Maxim. We wouldn’t even buy Heidi dinner unless she put out first, and then we’d consider buying dinner on the next date … except there wouldn’t be a next date, because Heidi would talk about Jesus the whole time, and we’d end up with a headache.

Playboy should feel really used right about now.

Heidi Montag posed for Playboy, and didn’t show anything more than anyone could see of her on a beach that requires at least a bikini.

I have to give more credit to Agyness Deyn for showing us the goods, while getting paid far less, and garnering far less publicity. In fact I criticized Deyn for taking it all off, but not getting much for the effort, especially since her body is only fair, whereas Heidi has surgical enhancements, and othe nice natural features.

Despite Heidi’s physical, and surgical advantage, she gave Playboy a half-a$$ed effort, just like she gave her stint in the jungle where she cried and cried and cried, until she made herself sick enough to go home. While I may have called Deyn’s photoshoot without clothes on pointless, I’d call Heidi’s useless and unsatisfying, especially considering the fact that Playboy is a magazine aimed to assist men with self satisfaction.

Playboy needs someone with some taste, and a sense of what men find intoxicatingly beautiful, to run their company before it completely fades aways into history. If Playboy could spend their last penny on something useful, it should be a time machine so they could go back and decide against publishing pictures of Heidi Montag in their magazine. Afterall, even Maxim has more revealing pictures than this photoshoot.

Heidi Montag revealed her Playboy cover at the Los Angeles premiere of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra last night.

Why would anyone want to buy this issue when Heidi didn’t even take her clothes off?

Brooke Hogan released another generic song that sucks as bad as all her other songs, except this one slams Heidi Montag.

A D-lister attacking another D-lister for publicity.