Heather Mills Fires Publicist Michelle Elyzabeth

Michelle Elyzabeth finally woke up out of her delusional nightmare, after getting fired by Heather Mills. Elyzabeth worked as Mills’ publicist for four long years. Elyzabeth told Extra:

"After working for Heather Mills for the past four years, I have decided to cease representing her. Since her divorce has become final, in my opinion, Heather has become an impossible person. Yesterday, we engaged in a heated argument during which she called me "stupid." I reminded her that she was not "God" and she answered, "I will never ever talk to you again."

"I have been very patient in my dealings with Heather, however, I cannot take any more. I have given her substantial unpaid time and attention. I am owed money. I refuse to be subjected to her outbursts. On reflection and given the way I have been treated, I now have sympathy with much of what the British press has reported about her."

You’ll have to forgive Elyzabeth for not realizing what a gold digging B Mills is. Elyzabeth is kind of slow. Mills doesn’t really need a publicist anyway. Just ask her a question, and she’ll go on and on and on … until you want to jump off a cliff. It’s too bad for Mills though, since Elyzabeth was the only friend she had left in the whole world.

Photographer Assault Conviction Against Heather Mills Overturned

A photographer, Jay Kaycappa, convicted of assaulting Heather Mills won an appeal Tuesday because Mills didn’t attend a court hearing.

The prosecutor told the court that Mills could not be there because she was somewhere in the U.S. However, Judge Richard Brown said he had received a document from a doctor saying Mills was suffering from stress.

Typical Mills. She won’t even show up unless she thinks she’s going to win some money. Another waste of the court’s time, and tax payer money, by Heather Mills. She should have to pay the court costs.

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills Almost Divorced

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills received a "decree nisi" today from the London High Court. The "decree nisi" is a preliminary divorce. An absoluted divorce decree will be handed down in about six weeks, at which time Mills can collect her $48.6 million divorce settlement. Mills promised to donate most of her settlement. Ya right. Empty promises.

Heather Mills Leaves Amputee Begging on the Street

Heather Mills used Maria Rybkina, a Russian mother who lost both her legs in a horrible train accident, as a photo op to promote herself. Heather promised to donate over $20,000 to purchase new artificial legs for Maria saying:

"I will help buy you legs like mine. I will help you walk again."

Maria last heard from Heather two years ago, and says Heather "lied" and hasn’t done anything she promised. Heather has a reputation for making false charity work claims. Maria has been begging the streets until someone finally helped her.

That’s cold hearted, and unforgivable.

Heather Mills Offered Sex Store Job

Heather Mills was offered $200,000 to star in an advertising campaign for Private Shops, which is a 100-outlet chain store that sells adult material. A spokesman for the store said:

"Heather is beautiful, outspoken, has charisma and is a wonderful mother."

Hahaha! *Cough.*

Heather declined the offer. Her rep said it was not the right "direction" for her career.

The disappointed Private Shop spokesman said:

“She would have appealed to all our customers. Men would have loved her looks and figure while our female clientele could associate with her ambition and strength of character.”

The one legged fetish clients would have loved the way she stumps for the store.

Mills really should have taken the offer, it might have improved her image. Isn’t there a fake charity out there that needs the money?