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Passive Placid Companion Katie Holmes Has a Moment of Sanity

Hollywood Grind — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 11:13:38 +0000

The picture speaks for itself.

It’s like they forgot to give Katie Holmes her sedative that morning and she’s come out of the fog at the most inopportune moment.

She is looking at him, with his weird Dieter haircut, as if seeing Tom Cruise the way the rest of us have for the last two years. Hallelujah!

We’ve seen that look before. And just look at Nicole Kidman now!

Let’s hope Katie keeps hiding those morning "vitamins" under her tongue and saving them up to drug the guard and escape.

Don’t forget Suri!

Britney Spears Angry She Had to Don Jessica Simpson’s Blonde Extensions

Hollywood Grind — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 09:55:33 +0000

We knew those extensions Britney Spears sported during her super-craptacular dance number Sunday looked especially cheap.

According to Norm Clarke’s Vegas Confidential:

… she wore extensions from Jessica Simpson’s Hair-u-Wear line, Vegas Confidential has learned.

Backstage spies say Spears pitched a fit. She had arranged for her own hair stylist to make the trip for $10,000 and â€œshe wanted to go brown, but her people said â€˜no way,’â€ said a backstage source.

Oh, the famous Ken Paves/Jessica Simpson Hair-u-Wear line. Allowing trashy mallrats across this great land to emulate their coked-out, suspended-license-defying idols.

Really, who needs a stylist when you have a mass-market line of Barbie hair at your disposal?

You can always cover up the bad patches with a well-placed c.z.-laden hand. Just like the stars!

Pamela Anderson Looked Extra Plastic-y at 2007 MTV VMA

Hollywood Grind — Mon, 10 Sep 2007 10:53:42 +0000

Maybe it was the stress of her two class-act ex-husbands throwing down in front of the cameras.

Perhaps it’s just the unforgiving glare of the flash on some errant fan’s digital camera.

Who knows … but in this pic of Pamela Anderson with Kanye West last night, she quite strongly resembles a slutty Barbie doll.

We know. We know. But, this time she resembles a slutty Barbie doll, or blow-up doll, or tranny, even more than usual.

The thin, arched, painted-on eyebrows.

The waxy complexion.

The plastic hair.

Now all we need is one of our brothers to swoop in, tear off her head and hang the body from the chain-link fence out back and it will be just like our childhoods.

Good times.

Erykah Badu Strikes Wrong Chord With Bad ‘Do

Hollywood Grind — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 22:43:18 +0000

Chances are if you’ve lost anything recently, it probably ended up in Erykah Badu’s hair. She showed up to sing for a crowd at Miami’s Chakra Lounge on Saturday looking like THIS. It’s like the Venus Flytrap of tresses. Some even think it’s where Osama Bin Laden is hiding. Just think–one eighth of that hair given to Locks of Love could help about a million kids with cancer! But she can keep her clothes. Even a homeless person would probably take one look and say "No thanks."

Paula Abdul is Like a Narcoleptic Tyrant

Hollywood Grind — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 14:55:41 +0000

Paula Abdul is surrounded by assistants and stylists and, according to Page Six, she runs a tight ship.

"There’s a salon chair in her house where she gets her hair and makeup done every day. She’ll sit in it, set an alarm, and then, because she’s on so many painkillers, pass out while her hair and makeup guy gets her ready for the day. When the alarm goes off she’ll wake up, and God forbid the poor guy isn’t done yet. All hell breaks loose."

Abdul’s rep said, "There’s no alarm that I’ve ever seen."

This is what should be made into a reality show. It would be a nail biter!!

Can you imagine the heart-pounding, brow-sweat countdown for the poor makeup guy? Holding her pharmaceutically leaden eyelids open to apply mascara, he likely has one eye on the timer and one eye watching for a tell-tale flicker right before Paula startles awake and starts choking him.

Maybe we’re devious, but we’re thinking that resetting the timer while she’s asleep might be a strategy. In her drugged up state, she’s not going to remember.

Or, they could try shaking that Abdul munchkin upside down by her ankles and demanding more time for each morning’s Herculean makeover.

Catherine Zeta-Jones Wouldn’t Settle for a Childless Life

Hollywood Grind — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 16:43:19 +0000

Catherine Zeta-Jones knew what she wanted out of life and it was more than ostentatious hair treatments. The girl can drive a hard bargain.

When she was dating Michael Douglas, she was firm about her desire for a family. The Mirror reports:

Catherine, 37, said: "I turned to him and asked, ‘Do you really want children?’ I thought for one minute he was going to say, ‘I already have a son, Cameron.’

"I would then have had to say goodbye. I remember saying defiantly, ‘I can’t live without having children’. And he went, ‘Me too’," she added in an interview with Parade magazine.

Perhaps she thought that was her escape clause. Something along the lines of "Sorry, you face-lifted old man, I would love to marry you, but I’m young, gorgeous and I want a beautiful family."

Unfortunately for the glossy-haired Zeta-Jones, the cruel trick of human physiology is that even mummified men can impregnate their wenches and silence the ticking of the biological clock. And some have the ego to want to.

Playing catch with the kiddies? That’s another story.

Tom Cruise Doesn’t Like Victoria Beckham’s Influence on the Transformation of Katie Holmes

Hollywood Grind — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 13:35:41 +0000

Rumors are flying that Tom Cruise is not happy with the Posh situation and that he and Katie Holmes are fighting about her close relationship with the British swizzle stick.

They say he’s not happy that Katie cut her hair into that cute bob, at the urging of Victoria Beckham. He has said that he prefers long hair.

Apparently he doesn’t like Katie’s new BFF guiding her wardrobe choices, either, and frankly who can blame him. Who wants their wife to morph into a PoshTart?

Tom, make up your mind! You either want a moldable young companion or you don’t.

When she allowed you to start calling her Kate and to provide an escort any time she left the house, you probably thought her receptiveness to direction was "cute" and "handy"…perhaps even "helpful to your career."

Getting all ticked because you’re not the only Svengali in town? Please. Live by the sword. Die by the sword, my friend.

The movers pick up the Beckham’s cleats and corsets Wednesday and they’ll soon be your neighbors. The British invasion has just begun.

Goody! Bet cutie-pie Suri can’t wait.

Paris Hilton Back to Partying

Hollywood Grind — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 16:09:56 +0000

It had been widely reported that Paris Hilton had been seen at Les Deux in Hollywood this weekend.

TMZ has a picture of her climbing into an SUV that night.

OK! Magazine has details of the wild night on the town and it doesn’t sound like she’s curtailed her drinking and hooking up.

â€œParis was dancing away on the black-leather cushions of her booth, along with her friends and Nicky,â€ another witness adds. â€œShe looked really happy to be free from the confines of that tiny jail cell.â€ And Paris wasted no time in getting wasted, both sources tell OK!. She ordered and downed two shots of Jaegermeister within her first 10 minutes there…

"By the time Paris got ready to leave, she was pretty drunk,â€ the eyewitness tells OK!. "Toward the end of the night, she was sitting on the top edge of her booth, making-out with a dark-haired guy who was sporting a couple days growth of beard. While they kissed, Paris was holding up a brown fedora hat, and they were kissing behind the hat, so people couldnâ€™t see. But still, sitting up high like that on the back of her booth, with 200 people clamoring to watch her every move, if she was trying to be coy, it didnâ€™t work!â€

Tequila shots? Sucking face with an apparent stranger?

Ahhhh…we knew the old Paris would prevail over the Saintly Paris promoted during her whirlwind, philosophy-spouting, not-so-mea-culpa, post-jail media tour.

Caviar is Catherine Zeta-Jones Secret for Healthy Hair

Hollywood Grind — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 15:53:03 +0000

It’s official. Catherine Zeta-Jones has too much money.

She doesn’t eat the expensive caviar (or the equally pricey accompanying truffles) to add shine to her gorgeous hair.

Oh no, that would be too common.

According to the Daily Mail:

The Beluga caviar is apparently flown in from Iran five days ahead of her treatments at a beauty salon in South Kensington.

"Catherine discovered the caviar treatment last summer and was astounded by the difference it made to her hair," said a source.

"She has an incredibly rich and vibrant natural hair colour but the creamy, almost oily nature of caviar really brings this out, making the colour even richer and making it so much more glossy.

Mmmmm…..shiny.

Sure it works. Her hair is blindingly shiny. Almost as blinding as her overly whitened teeth.

But somewhere, there are rich people dealing with a shortage of caviar and truffles. Soon, an interest group will pop up, urging folks like Catherine to preserve the yummy fish eggs and stinky mushrooms and stop wasting them on their hair.

Until then, we’ll just have to shield our eyes when gazing upon Catherine’s super shiny presence. She’s like a stinky, oily angel, that Catherine.

Lance Bass Excited to Move Nearer His Incredibly Hot New Boyfriend

Hollywood Grind — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 14:03:24 +0000

Can you believe that Lance Bass was able to land such super hotness? The tanner one in the back is Lance’s new man. You can get a better look at his abs below. Smokin!

Pedro Andrade is quite a looker and the New York Daily News is reporting Bass is giddy about the prospect of residing in the same city as his main squeeze.

We hear ex-boybander Lance Bass is excited to move to New York for his Broadway debut in the exhilarating "Hairspray" because he’ll be in the same town as his new boyfriend, Pedro Andrade, a Brazilian model we’d like to see in a pushup contest with Bass’ Air Force ex Reichen Lehmkuhl. Bass debuted the new man July 4, sipping Ciroc vodka cocktails at the Estate in Sag Harbor.

Bass wins. The cocktail-quaffing-in-the-Hamptons debut of Andrade is so much cooler than Lehmkuhl’s cheek-kissing silliness of a few months back.

And that’s saying a lot.

C’mon, don’t get mad. We all know that Bass was never the coolest of the *N Syncers. Just as he was always the gayest.

Remember his boy-meets-girl-on-the-train movie? Mwah ha ha ha.

What a relief for believable cinema to have Lance out!

HollywoodGrind - Celebrity gossip juicy celebrity rumors celebrity scandals Hollywood gossip blog » hair

Passive Placid Companion Katie Holmes Has a Moment of Sanity

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