Gwyneth Paltrow wants to keep her skin looking young forever. To fight the wrinkles she uses snake venom. Page Six says:

A spy at Sonya Dakkar spa in Beverly Hills said Paltrow, a frequent customer, walked out with a line of Ultra Lux 9 products - including a cream that contains the spit of a snake. "It’s not Botox," said one insider. "Just a cream that has the venom in it . . . the cream is part of the facials."

This seems like the poor man’s way of getting snake venom to fight those wrinkles. She’s rich. Why doesn’t she raise her own snakes, and have someone milk them to get fresh venom whenver she needs it? Someone should really tell her that her skin looked younger and better before she started to use that venom cream. The venom probably causes psychosis that cause the user to believe they look like a fresh young girl, even though they are a dried up old mummy.

We’ve been laughing all morning about the photo illustrations at PlanetHiltron.com.

It’s like bizarro photoshop! Instead of making celebrities look thinner, younger, taller, wider-eyed and smoother-skinned, PlanetHiltron has altered pictures to make the stars look more like everyday schmoes.

This picture of macho Hairspray star John Travolta and the one of soon-to-be-mom Nicole Richie below look like people we know from around town. Not pretty.

There’s also a great one of Jennifer Aniston as she might look without the trainers, the buffing, the polishing.

It certainly made us feel better about skipping the gym this morning and having waffles instead. Mmmmm…carbs.

See more pics of celebs like Ashlee Simpson, Carmen Electra and Gwyneth Paltrow brought down a notch in the yearbook section.

Awesome. We’re ordering extra syrup after that.

Gwyneth Paltrow is now in full damage control regarding comments she made recently. Perhaps her comments were misinterpreted, or her intent did not parallel her comments. Either way, she felt the need to explain herself. You can read the comments that got this whole issue started here:

Gwyneth Paltrow is "deeply upset" over stories claiming she made anti-American remarks, and said that she never said anything against her native country.

"First of all I feel so lucky to be American. When you look at the rest of the world, we’re so lucky, and that’s something my dad always instilled in me," Paltrow said. "I feel so proud to be American."

The actress has recently been criticized after she was quoted as telling the Portuguese newspaper Diario De Noticias, "The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans."

"I felt so upset to be completely misconstrued and I never, ever would have said that," says the 34-year-old Oscar winner. "I definitely did not say that I think the British are more intelligent and civilized than Americans. I am a New York girl, that’s how I always think of myself and see myself."

Paltrow, who lives part-time in London with her British husband, Coldplay singer Chris Martin, and their two children, Apple, 2, and Moses, 7 months, says: "I live in England half the time because I’m married to an English guy. It’s not like I’ve left America."

As for where the quotes came from, Paltrow says she did not give an interview to the Portuguese daily newspaper, though she did give a press conference - in Spanish - for an endorsement she did in Spain.

"This is what I said. I said that Europe is a much older culture and there’s a difference. I always say in America, people live to work and in Europe, people work to live. There are positives in both," says the actress, adding, "Obviously I need to go back to seventh-grade Spanish!"

This isn’t the first time Gwyneth Paltrow has said things that are both uninteresting and stupid at the same time. Gwyneth really needs to learn to appreciate different cultures. This is why most actors and actress should read what the writers write for them to say, and refrain from speaking publicly without a script. Here’s what she said, let us know what you think:

Oscar-winning US actress Gwyneth Paltrow feels dinner talk is far more interesting in her adopted homeland Britain than back in her native country.

"I love the English lifestyle, it’s not as capitalistic as America. People don’t talk about work and money, they talk about interesting things at dinner," she told "NS," the weekend magazine supplement of daily Portuguese newspaper Diario de Noticias on Saturday.

"I like living here because I don’t fit into the bad side of American psychology. The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans," the 34-year-old added.

Paltrow, who won a best actress Oscar for 1998’s "Shakespeare in Love," lives in London with British band Coldplay’s frontman Chris Martin whom she wed in 2003.

She said having US pop star Madonna, 48, who married British film director Guy Ritchie six years ago, nearby was another advantage to living in London.

"She’s like an older sister. Everything I have gone through, she went through ten times worse and ten times longer. She gives me good advice about how to say no and take care of myself," said Paltrow.

Can you guess who this long haired blond star is? It’s not Paris Hilton. Find out who after the jump…

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