Nicole Richie had the coolest party ever. This is the same party Mischa Barton attended where she mixed her drugs and alcohol and, according to an insider, "was rolling around on the ground… and then suddenly she began screaming that she was dying." She then passed out and was taken to Sherman Oaks Hospital. Gees, I’m sorry I missed that one.

Nicole points out that none of the invitees know what Memorial Day really means. She makes it sound like it’s cool to bash and all around not appreciate U.S. troops dying so she can have her party. I liked the part where she said it’s the American dream to wear your sluttiest tops, tightest jeans, drink till you pass out, and wake up with your pants ripped open. Ah, the American dream.

We all know how sensitive Nicole is about being anorexic right? If you’re a fat chick you can’t get into this party. Fat to Nicole means you weigh more than 100 pounds. No fat chicks, just stick chicks are invited.

Mimi Roth, from fat bashers of America, fat bashes American Idol winner Jordan Sparks by calling her unhealthy and obese. I dare you not to want to punch Barbie in the boob for being so harsh. No soup for you.

Sources (her friends) are saying that Jessica Simpson could be pregnant:

"Her breasts are positively huge, and she really seems to be taking care of herself."

“She’s not saying anything one way or the other when the subject comes up, but women who put on weight don’t smile when someone suggests they might be pregnant.”

Anyone who actually knows anything about Jessica knows she’s fat, and she even said recently she wants to lose weight for her new movie role. Besides, plastic dolls can’t get pregnant, right? Do they make pregnancy tests for plastic blow-up dolls? If it was legal, you know someone would be making a fortune selling those tests.

Click here to see the NSFW doll.