These days Britney Spears is leaving her dignity and self respect at home, and flashing her boobs. Her boobs look like deflated footballs, so if she wants support she’ll have to wear a bra. Drinking all those fatpuccinos isn’t going to help Brit get rid of that cottage cheese on her thighs either. I’m starting to look forward to her new album dropping, cause I could really use a good laugh.

If you want to see the NSFW nip slip picture click here.

Thank heavens it’s Father’s Day Sunday, not Mother’s Day. Can you imagine the cards? 

Dearest Mother,

Everything I do, I do because of you, just ask Hollywood’s wisest. 

Thanks a lot!

XOXO

Your Out-of-Control daughter.

The i in wisest would be dotted with a heart, and the card, signed in tequila, would be delivered by a rehab or prison staffer.

Anyway, Seth Green has joined the public chorus started by Jamie Lee Curtis.

According to the Post Chronicle, Green chimed in Monday:

Speaking on MTV show Total Request Live yesterday, Green said, "These kids today with their bad parenting and their lawlessness… I had parents who beat the c**p outta me when I did bad stuff. I got punished for not going to school.

"Heaven forbid I drove my car drunk and got stopped. I would have gotten hit with the switch, and then even worse if I’d have driven a second or third time on a suspended license. Gosh, I probably would have gone to jail like normal people.

"We have different paths, all of us do. If I crashed my car into a stationary object and when the police were checking out the car they found cocaine under the seat, the chances are I’d go to prison.

"At least I woulda got beaten by my mom instead of taken to a club with her. We have different philosophies."

Snap! Right?

That’s almost as embarrassing to the mothers of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears as being cited as The Italian Job star must be to Seth Green.

2003, my friend…and even then he was upstaged by the Mini Coopers.  Bummer.

You can see Jamie Lee’s reprimand of the Momses here.

Read more…

For Eddie Murphy, it was time to pay the paternity-test piper.

Yesterday, Murphy reported for the court-ordered DNA test, though he insists he is not the father of Melanie Brown’s daughter.

According to The Sun the Spice Girl and the funnyman, arriving separately, didn’t say much outside the clinic.

Mel, 32, was tight-lipped as she carried two-month-old ANGEL IRIS into the Beverly Hills clinic in a car seat.

She split from the actor when she was pregnant.

The two managed to time their appointments to avoid each other.

Murphy was asked if he would seek visiting rights if the test goes against him.

He sped off after insisting: "I will do the right thing."

Good for Eddie, though who knows what "the right thing" is in Beverly Hills these days.

Wonder if he’ll "have to" marry Mel B?

Scary Spice, indeed.

Dry your eyes and don’t believe the Barbara Walters-interview hype. 

THE Paris Hilton will be back and ready to party.  The public, having missed her so, will surely welcome her with open arms.

It is going to be the hottest…party…ever!

The New York Post reports that the jailbird’s enabler father, Rick Hilton, is on the party-planning committee and has been making the rounds.

Page Six has learned that the celebutard’s doting daddy, Rick Hilton, was recently shopping a "Get Out of Jail" bash for his little girl to the top Las Vegas clubs, including Pure, the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino and the Palms.

"He was originally asking for a $50,000 cash fee to be paid, as well as accommodations and flights," said our source. "Pure and Hard Rock said ‘no’ flat out, but George Maloof, who owns the Palms, didn’t say yes or no. He’s very good pals with Paris and is the one who once hooked her up with Britney Spears."

Oops! Sauer Snag!

It looks like last Friday’s order back to the joint, has put a crimp in Rick’s plans. 

Not to worry.  Page Six cites sources who think the delay will simply result in a party that will be bigger, better…and hotter, for sure.

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Each time we read the Pitt praise, we imagine Jennifer Aniston sitting in bed, sobbing, surrounded by gossip magazines. 

It has been a couple of years and Aniston is dating a super smokin’ hot male model. But, regardless of what Courteney Cox says about Aniston being over it, these stories have gotta smart.

As Angelina Jolie tirelessly promotes A Mighty Heart, she never never misses an opportunity to share some juicy tidbits about the glorious and idyllic family life she shares with Brad Pitt and their four young children.

According to the Daily Mirror, Jolie opened up about Pitt, telling them she feels so fortunate to have him as her partner.

"I am a very lucky woman," she says. "I have a beautiful family and Brad is a supportive friend and a great father. And he is very romantic. We talk very deeply about how we feel."

"When my mother died Brad held her hand and helped me through all the stages of dealing with someone dying," she says.

"After the funeral Brad brought everyone back to the house and asked questions about our mom. He focused on all the love and all the joy we were fortunate enough to have had. He is an extraordinary man."

Later, the Mirror quotes Jolie talking about her amazing children and joking about Pax being "the loudest member of the family."

And in our imagination, Aniston weeps and pulls the covers over her head.

Read more…