Gotta love Lily Allen. She just tells it like it is, even about herself! We like this so much better than when she’s whining on MySpace.

The latest pearls about Paris Hilton, the Sun is reporting, are howlers:

"I think Paris is amazing. I mean she’s hideous, but I think she’s amazing at the same time.

"I love her. I think The Simple Life is genius. I can never figure out if she plays up to it or not.”

It’s not the first time feisty Lil has taken a pot shot at the blonde heiress.

She once labelled her "useless and hideously untalented" and suggested people who bought her debut album should be killed off.

The Smile singer also rubbished her rival Amy Winehouse’s singing ability.

She added: “I think she has a cool voice. But saying that, I don’t think it’s her real voice.”

An Amy/Lily street battle to the death may not be a stretch, though it could go either way. Winehouse will either come out swinging, or retreat into private to cut herself.

Tune in tomorrow, when Lily Allen might claim that she was drunk when she did this interview because she’s an alcoholic. Or that she was talking crazy because she was weak from an eating disorder brought on by Hollywood’s unrealistic expectations. Or that she just had PMS.

All revelations are possible with loose-cannon Allen.

Lindsay Lohan had a party at a beach house in Malibu with her addict friends Samantha Ronson, Callum Best, Evan Ross, and DJ AM in attendance. Samantha Ronson is the DJ accused of getting paid to tip-off the paparazzi, and cops, that Lindsay had been drinking and doing cocaine the night of her DUI? Reportedly, no alcohol was served at Lindsay’s birthday party, which means it was a bring your own booze party. It’s hard to believe Lindsay wasn’t drunk when she put on those blue plastic high heels. It doesn’t seem like a good idea to still be hanging around other addicts who aren’t in rehab, which supports my theory that Lindsay is either still drinking, or mentally retarded.

Vivica Fox is the next Mel Gibson, only she’s a black drunk woman, who tries to use an accusation of racism to get out of a DUI. Here’s more:

Vivica A. Fox called a state patrol officer a "racist white cop" during her drunken driving arrest and repeatedly failed sobriety tests, according to an official report.

The 42-year-old actress, who is black, was pulled over in March after passing a California Highway Patrol officer who said her Cadillac was doing 80 mph and weaving in its lane on the Hollywood Freeway.

The officer noticed that Fox’s eyes were red and watery and that she had a "strong odor" of alcohol, according to the report. After she failed sobriety tests, he arrested Fox for investigation of driving under the influence.

"Fox began to walk away, yelling at my partner, ’Brother, help a sister, are you going to let this racist white cop do this. … Well, are you?’" according to the report.

Fox continued to speak in a "condescending manner" as she was placed in the patrol car, according to the report. She was taken to the Van Nuys jail, where a breath test was conducted but had to be stopped when she "burped quite loudly," the report said.

Breath tests indicated her blood-alcohol level was greater than .08 percent, California’s legal limit for a driver. She was charged in March with two misdemeanor counts of driving under the influence of alcohol and driving with a blood-alcohol level above the legal limit. Her arraignment was scheduled for July 19.

If convicted, Fox could face six months in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Fox said this month that she had made a "mistake" and would "hire a driver next time."

"It was an unfortunate judgment that I am taking full responsibility in," she said backstage at the Daytime Emmy Awards.

Fox obviously hates white people, and she’s the racist. Calling someone a racist, when they’re not, should be considered a hate crime against an innocent victim. The poor white cop should sue her for making false allegations that could have cost him his career. I’m hoping this "sister" gets that old white judge that did Paris, and she’s not only late to her court date, but she calls him a racist too. She might just spend the full six months in the Phoenix Sheriff’s tent city. The desert heat does not discriminate "sister," and neither did the breathalyzer.

Paula Abdul is constantly denying rumors that she’s a drunk, and says she doesn’t even drink. On her new show Hey Paula, we caught her drinking wine until she started making a fool of herself, all while trying out perfume she dropped on the floor of a laboratory. In the second video Paula wants to go to Starbucks in the middle of the night, but doesn’t even know what is on the menu, because she’s usually drinking alcohol I’m thinking. If you like watching drunks make fools of themselves, then you’ll love Hey Paula.

Personally, I’d rather feed apples to cows and watch them stumble around drunk until they explode from the apple gas.

Jessica Simpson has done it again.

The New York Daily News reports that she has botched another attempt to warble her hero’s big Eighties hit.

Jessica Simpson thought she’d try channeling Dolly Parton another time at the Stride gum party in L.A. at Teddy’s on Thursday night, but again messed up the words to "Nine to Five." Little sis Ashlee, who hosted, thankfully did not try to lip-sync.

You would think that Simpson, who is a singer (!!) and claims to idolize Parton, would either stop singing the song in public or make a real effort to learn the words.

It’s not even as if it’s the only Parton hit worth singing; she’s written almost 600 songs.

Jolene, I Will Always Love You, Islands In The [Effing] Stream for crying out loud!

Simpson could drag a drunken, non-English-speaking stranger from the audience to sing the Kenny Rogers parts and it would still be a better tribute to Dolly than this insistence on mangling 9 to 5.

Face it, Jess. They’re never going to remake the movie and cast you as Doralee.

Never.