Uh-oh, Lilo! We knew that Lindsay Lohan’s SCRAM ankle bracelet was a sham!

The arrest happened early this morning and TMZ has been reporting the rapidly changing details. A rundown of the details…in the order it broke, so you can enjoy the ludicrous nature of the Firecrotch downward spiral. We only wish they had pics and video!

According to the L.A. County Sheriff’s Dept., 21-year-old Lohan was nailed around 2:15 AM near Pico Boulevard and Main Street early Tuesday morning.

Lindsay Lohan was popped for possession of cocaine, driving under the influence, transporting a narcotic into a custodial facility and driving on a suspended license. Sources say her blood alcohol level was between .12 and .13, well over the .08 legal limit.

Cops tell TMZ cocaine was found in her pants pocket [during a search at the station].

If convicted, she would almost certainly do time, especially with another possible DUI looming.

Law enforcement now says Lohan was stopped after cops got a call of a vehicle being chased by another vehicle. The chasing vehicle was being driven by Lohan.

Lohan was driving a white Denali. She was chasing a Cadillac Escalade.

Lindsay Lohan is out of jail.

Law enforcement sources say Lohan was cooperative in jail. We’re told she was very upset.

A law enforcement source at the Santa Monica jail tells TMZ "she did just about everything we asked."

…[except] She refused to submit to a PASD — Preliminary Alcohol Screening Device. That’s a chemical test administered in the field to determine blood alcohol levels.

We’re told cops did administer a walk-the-line test, and Lindsay flunked.

The sophisticated SCRAM alcohol monitoring device which Lindsay Lohan voluntarily strapped around her leg wasn’t the reason cops busted her for DUI Thursday morning.

TMZ contacted a rep from the company that monitors the SCRAM bracelet who said, "I didn’t even know she was arrested."

And there you have it folks! If Nicole Richie gets thrown in jail in August, we’ll have a trifecta. Who would have thought that Paris Hilton’s offenses would be the least dramatic.

A coke-fueled, drunken chase in an SUV. You can’t make this stuff up!

Our favorite drunk or druggy in denial Paula Abdul found out she won’t be working on the Bratz movie, and like any spoiled diva she breaks down, cries, yells at her staff, and slams doors. How does she act when she runs out of booze or pills?

Nick Nolte was at the Kauai Airport this week having a little trouble staying awake. Here’s more:

These photos taken by one of Nolte’s fellow passengers, who told TMZ that the incoherent actor drifted in and out of consciousness on the airport floor for more than two hours Monday night, after their flight was delayed because of engine problems.

According to the source, Nolte was still extremely friendly despite his groggy state — chatting with fans and allowing passengers to snap photos, however, he wasn’t entirely functional. "At one point we helped him put a dollar in the vending machine."

What’s wrong with a harmless and homeless looking drunk drooling and rolling around on the floor of the airport waiting area passing the time while his plane gets fixed? It’s not like Nick was flying the plane, and it’s hard to imagine how he drove himself to the airport. I’m not even sure he was getting on the plane at all. Maybe he just wandered into the airport so he could get a snack from the vending machine. Normally Nick is laying in the gutter next to his mansion, peeing on his neighbor’s flowers, and puking in the sandbox at the kiddy park. I’d say this was a pretty good day for Nick.

Mel Gibson was photographed in Nicoya, Costa Rica, looking like he’s given sobriety the ol’ heave-ho and instead heaved himself into a vat of tequila. The local gals sure look like they’re enjoying his company! Perhaps "Sugar Tits" is a term of endearment there.

TMZ reports that Mel is donating some money to the locals.

Mel has purchased a multi-million dollar mansion in C.R., and he was welcomed by President Arias. Mr. Gibson is said to be planning charitable contributions to the natives.

By the looks of this photo, he probably offered to take some of them back to his room to show them his "lethal weapon."

It had been widely reported that Paris Hilton had been seen at Les Deux in Hollywood this weekend.

TMZ has a picture of her climbing into an SUV that night.

OK! Magazine has details of the wild night on the town and it doesn’t sound like she’s curtailed her drinking and hooking up.

“Paris was dancing away on the black-leather cushions of her booth, along with her friends and Nicky,” another witness adds. “She looked really happy to be free from the confines of that tiny jail cell.” And Paris wasted no time in getting wasted, both sources tell OK!. She ordered and downed two shots of Jaegermeister within her first 10 minutes there…

"By the time Paris got ready to leave, she was pretty drunk,” the eyewitness tells OK!. "Toward the end of the night, she was sitting on the top edge of her booth, making-out with a dark-haired guy who was sporting a couple days growth of beard. While they kissed, Paris was holding up a brown fedora hat, and they were kissing behind the hat, so people couldn’t see. But still, sitting up high like that on the back of her booth, with 200 people clamoring to watch her every move, if she was trying to be coy, it didn’t work!”

Tequila shots? Sucking face with an apparent stranger?

Ahhhh…we knew the old Paris would prevail over the Saintly Paris promoted during her whirlwind, philosophy-spouting, not-so-mea-culpa, post-jail media tour.

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