24/Sizzler’s David Caplan received the following email from Lindsay Lohan’s 13-year-old sister, Ali:

Hi david this is ali lohan, i want everybody to know the truth out there. My mom is a single mom of four children she has always been there for us, she was my mother and father and still is. My father is telling all lies to people and saying he was such a great dad and was always there for us, my father was never there for us, My mom was always there souporting us. i think that the whole reason why my sister is upset with her self and not as cofident, is because of my dad not being around, and always staying out late and not coming home for days, he would come back home never himself, he was always was making excuses for his bad behavior . And would always blame my mother. He just wants everybody in the world knowing that he was a great dad. He wasnt that is all a lie. I just want my sister to stick throught this okay, and my mother and brothers and i are there for my sister 100% and have always been. I’ve wanted to say this for so long and get this out there and let everyone know that our family is like a normal family but of course we are put under a microscope because of lindsays fame, lindsay will be fine she is just going through a rough time right now but she will be fine. i know this for a fact. My sisters is just like a normal sister. her and I have so much in common. My mother and sister are huge insperations to me, they have made it through so much in there lives. Thankyou for your time god bless, Ali

Picking on people is my favorite thing to do and yet I’m somewhat at a loss for where to begin with this one. Am I too mean for making fun of a 13-year-old? Nahhh, she’s a Lohan. With all of the drugs and alcohol, they actually go by dog years, which means Ali is actually 91. What speaks to me most is not the fact that she doesn’t know how to spell, but rather that she didn’t take the time to press spell-check. As I’m typing this, the spell-check in our software is lighting up all the errors like a firecrotch on a clear night. Ali, you’re only ten freckles and an eight-ball away from your "insperational" older sister, so I do get the "so much in common part." Cheers!

Source

Lindsay Lohan has denied the police version of events to Access Hollywood’s concerned Billy Bush.

When Billy e-mailed Lohan asking if everything was OK and if there was anything she wanted him to get out there for her, she responded, "Yes. I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy."

Time to take bets on how long it will take before Tarin’s mom provides her exclusive story. Whether she did "almost hit" the self-destructive Lohan or not, the details leading up to the arrest are sure to be juicy.

We expect the tale will include slapping and hair-pulling, curses and threats.

And that’s probably just the stuff they witnessed Lindsay doing to herself.

Page Six asks: Which hard-partying starlet has figured out a way to get high while wearing an alcohol-monitoring anklet? She was asking where she could score some Ecstasy at a Vegas club the other night.

Lindsay Lohan headed straight to Las Vegas to party after getting out of rehab. Her alcohol-monitoring ankle bracelet doesn’t detect drugs like cocaine, which was reported to have been found in her blood after her DUI. Lindsay could do every other drug on the planet, except alcohol, and she’d still expect everyone to believe she’s clean and sober. Lindsay is a pig, and she loves to roll around in the mud.

It’s almost not even fun any more, this documenting of the amazing and inspiring transformation of Paris Hilton from cavorting as a typical Hollywood girl-gone-wild to making a difference as an altruistic, party-eschewing, drug-avoider. Yup. No fun.

Guess being the new-and-improved Paris isn’t fun for her either. Page Six has the cannabis dirt:

Although she told Larry King she’d never done drugs, the newly spiritual heirhead emerged from an SUV in front of Hollywood club Teddy’s the other night in what witnesses describe as a cloud of marijuana smoke. "She took a huge puff off of a joint, then opened the door and exhaled the pot smoke basically in my face," one clubgoer told us. At least she wasn’t driving. Hilton’s camp didn’t get back to us.

What a lady. And we thought the shots of Patron were something. Gone are the relatively peaceful Hawaii days, where she tried to keep her nightlife under cover.

Aloha.

We were actually surprised. This "exclusive" is apparently all about wearing the right clothes for your body, standing up straight, Spanx, etc.

Stars. Instant weight loss…

The first thing that popped into mind, after stylists of course, was crystal meth. Or maybe stylists AND crystal meth, the fastest route to sub-size-zero.

Next thing you know, the magazines are going to start telling us that the "secret" to weight loss is stop eating so much and get your ass in gear…and that, along with personal chefs, celebrity trainers, hours in the gym, and plastic surgery, is how the stars do it.

Hey! Wait a minute. That’s the Jessica Simpson story.