Page Six is reporting that Lindsay Lohan’s new rehab friend, the NYC check-pilferer Dori Cooperman, isn’t exactly being welcomed with open arms by the Firecrotch Faithful. They’re on to her plans and watching her maneuver to cement her relationship with her new BFF.

In all of the oceanfront photos and videos of Lohan’s party, one face keeps popping up: that of Cooperman, who extended her own rehab stay at Promises in a cheesy bid to befriend the center’s highest-profile resident, some of her New York pals say…

…Us Weekly will run the exclusive snaps in its next issue, Lohan’s rep confirmed. "Dori will be just thrilled to see her face in Us Weekly," sniped one partygoer. "Lindsay’s been warned about her. Right now, she’s being really nice and friendly to everybody, but everyone knows what Dori’s agenda is."

What exactly would the agenda be? Either Lohan is recovered or she isn’t.

So Cooperman either plans to scrap her own sobriety and ride the crazy coke-fueled train that is Lohan’s downward spiral to its inevitably tragic destination.

Or she’s already at work learning card games and scouting out the coolest Hollywood Bingo Parlors to frequent with her boring ginger-haired pal.

Dori, you little mailbox thief, has it really come to this?

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