Heath Ledger is back in town and making time with model Helena Christensen. We’re not terribly fond of Mr. Ledger’s mug, so behold the lovely supermodel herself.

The New York Post is reporting:

Just a week after announcing his split from Michelle Williams, Ledger has been squiring Danish pastry Helena Christensen all over town. Tuesday night, the two were at Wakiya "making out throughout the dinner," our spy said. Acting like a good boyfriend, Ledger even "held her bag for her as she did interviews."

What a gentleman. Isn’t that what you’re thinking?

No? Maybe you’re thinking "Gee, Heath, have some class. Is the PDA really necessary so soon?"

Wrong again?

Fine. At this hour, you’re probably thinking…danish, cheese danish, bear claw. Yum.

There’s no other way to describe it, though US Weekly will surely try to flesh it out with gory details in this week’s cover story.

And, before all you Britney Spears fans come out of the woodwork to defend her in the comments and tell us to "leave her alone" and "let her go about her business" please take a moment to reflect on Brit-Brit’s recent behavior.

Inappropriate dress for dinner with the tots. Snubbing Victoria Beckham, as if Posh is beneath her. And weaponizing baby bottles and making expletive-laced threats in public.

Those who really love Britney should be alarmed, concerned, and fearful for her safety and the safety of her children.

Plus, somebody should really look into some kind of "Big Sister" program for her. If she’s so lonely that she’ll hop into a hotel pool with any ol’ extra from a video shoot and then smile for the camera, perhaps what Britney really needs is just a friend.

One who won’t sell their camera phone pics to the tabloids.

We’re considering this short video to be a little preview of the kind of high-brow, edge-of-our-seats entertainment we can expect from Victoria Beckham’s summer reality show. Yawn.

She and David Beckham all matchy-matchy in their leather jackets.

Him: looking and sounding scrumptious.

Her: almost unable to just be kind, or even witty.

Her bo-ring dinners with other marginally famous Brits. Oh, the fun it will be.

Wonder if the reporter got into trouble for asking her about something besides that doomed show? Didn’t he sign the agreement?

Watch the video here.

John Sundahl, a real estate investor and fellow AAer, is that mystery guy running around with Britney Spears over the holiday.

He’s said to be her bodyguard, but the two have kept very close company in recent days, fuelling speculation there might be more to it. The pair were spotted out and about in LA, where they shared an intimate dinner at the Four Seasons and later set off to watch the musical Wicked before returning to the hotel together.

Sundahl denied being romantically involved with her a few weeks ago, but either she’s hired him as a chauffeur/bodyguard/dinner companion, or they’re getting cozy again. C’mon, the guy went to see Wicked! He’s definitely into her.

Here’s more:

John Sundahl claims he and the Toxic singer are an item after meeting at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in Los Angeles. Sundahl tells the National Enquirer he knows Spears is serious about the romance because she recently helped him recover from bowel surgery. He says, "When I was in the hospital, she sat with me and held my hand all night long. She even sang and hummed to me while I was practically unconscious. "I love being around her. She’s a sweet, caring girl and a good mom." Sundahl claims Spears sought him out for counseling sessions after leaving rehab at Promises in Malibu earlier this year (07), and then started attending AA meetings he staged. The wealthy 38-year-old admits his romance with Spears could scupper part of her estranged husband Kevin Federline’s divorce battle - because the dancer/rapper’s legal team initially subpoenaed Sundahl to testify against the pop star.

Sounds like the Spears-Federline divorce is going to court.

A fling that didn’t last the summer. Color us shocked.

US Weekly is reporting that the humdrum, dinner-eating couple that was Jennifer Aniston and hunky Paul Sculfor has ended.

“There was no drama,” an Aniston insider tells Us. “They had a couple of dinners and hung out; it was never more than that.”

Indeed, the end seemed near on June 17 on what may have been the duo’s last date.

A witness says that, at one point during their dinner at Santa Monica, California’s Shutters on the Beach, the pair seemed to have a tiff.

“Jen stared Paul straight in the eyes and crossed her arms against her chest.”

For his part, Sculfor may have withdrawn due to the media scrutiny surrounding the high-profile hookup.

Says a pal, “He probably went to London for a while to get away from it all.”

Or maybe Jennifer was just sick of eating at Shutters. It seems that’s the only place the two ever went.

A girl’s gotta eat and all that, but we like a little variety, some creativity, the exertion of a little effort….Paul.