Bruce Willis knows how to mug for the cameras during his Hollywood Walk of Fame star ceremony on Monday, as his support group (inset) ex-wife Demi Moore (who seemed to only have eyes for new husband Ashton Kutcher) and Don Johnson look on.

Ashton Kutcher’s groupies knew his single days were over when they started ringing his doorbell late at night looking for a good time, and Demi Moore, 43, began answering the door and screaming, “There’s no f-king party here!” That juicy tidbit comes from the September issue of Details, in which Ashton, 28, sits his heinie down on the ultrasuede couch to share the deets on his marriage, his career, and why he bowed out of the running for Superman Returns (“Could anybody f-king take me seriously as Superman? Let’s be honest about that.”) As always, highlights from the interview below:

On the night he met Demi:
“Honestly, I was, like, jocking some other girl that night. My focus was on hooking up with somebody else…I liked GI Jane, but I didn’t think she was hot as GI Jane. She was never my cup of tea.”

On his single days:
“It’s like this. You’re in the club. You’ve got a bottle of vodka. You’re standing up on the couches. You’ve got your right-hand man Puffy [Combs] standing there. You’ve got Danny [Masterson] and Wilmer [Valderrama] and all of our guys hanging out, and the f-king girls are fighting to see who’s going to be behind the table here…Like, f-king fighting! Like gouging other b-tches out of the way! And then you go, ‘All right, we’re going back to blah blah blah,’ and then you’re moving as a mass through the club, and you pick up about 15 or 20 more along the way. Now you’ve gotten into a car with, like, four select girls and you’re at the new space, and you just start certain things up. It was so ego-fulfilling. It was retarded.”

On one secret to a happy marriage:
“When your wife calls, you have to take it, no matter what you’re doing.”

On when he knew Demi was The One:
“So when we went to dinner I organized it so she was sitting across from me. And then she said something at the dinner table that was, like, so f-king profound that at that point, I didn’t have a choice.”

On his lack of confidence in his career:
“I’ll read how sh-tty they think I am. I don’t necessarily think all the critics are wrong….I don’t think I’m that good. And they don’t think I’m that good. So I’m not pulling that feeling out of my ass. They’re just backing up that feeling that I already have about myself.”

What is on Demi Moore’s nose? Anyone have any suggestions? She is with Lindsay Lohan, so there are some obvious shots I could take, but considering this was Demi’s daughter’s birthday party, I won’t blow in that direction.

Married less than a year to Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher reveals they “had one argument in the first three months of dating and since then we haven’t had any.”

Kutcher has become “the other dad” to Moore’s three daughters from her marriage to Bruce Willis, and says he and Willis are “teammates.”

The 28-year-old, who is closer in age to Moore’s eldest daughter than to Moore herself, tells Parade magazine “There is not a human being I could love more than those girls and their mom.”

As far as having a child with his gorgeous 43-year-old wife, Kutcher says “I feel like I have three kids, and we’ll see whether we’re given another child.”

Kutcher attributes his mellower, more grounded demeanor to Kabbalah which has taught him “about giving and sharing as an approach to life.”

Check out the entire interview with Ashton Kutcher in this Sunday’s issue of PARADE.