David Letterman announced on his show last night the top ten reasons he got married:

10. Poconos offers newlyweds free room with champagne-glass Jacuzzi.
9. If I’m gonna catch Larry King, I’d better get going.
8. Still drunk from St. Patty’s, dude!
7. She needed a green card.
6. When you’re my age and look like I do, if someone says they’ll marry you, you do it.
5. Don’t have to listen to any more crap from that quack Dr. Phil.
4. I finally fit into my dream dress!
3. Free cake.
2. Got tired of waiting for Paris Hilton.
1. Figured at the least we’d get a mediocre Top Ten out of it.

Yup, it was mediocre.

David Letterman got married to his girlfriend of 23 years Regina Lasko by a justice of the peace on March 19 in Montnna. Their 5 year-old son Harry was present at the ceremony. Dave announced the wedding to his TV audience with this story:

"Regina and I began dating in February of 1986, and I said, ’Well, things are going pretty good, let’s just see what happens in about ten years.’"

"I had avoided getting married pretty good for, like, 23 years, and I honestly, whether this happened or not, I secretly felt that men who were married admired me, like I was the last of the real gunslingers, you know what I’m saying?"

Letterman told the TV audience that he, Regina, and their son Harry got in a pickup truck to go to the courthouse and then things started to go awry.

"We’ve got to drive into the courthouse and it’s muddy," Letterman said, "and we’re supposed to be there at 2, and it’s me, Regina and Harry in the truck, in the pickup truck. So we get two miles from the house and we get stuck in the mud – I mean, turn the truck over, stuck in the mud."

He explains that he walked two miles back to his home "into a fifty mile per hour wind," and said that he thought to himself, "See, smart a**, see, see, you try to get married, this is what happens. See, well, you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself. Could have happened any other day, but you wait now, see, this is what you get."

After he managed to get a different car to get back to his wife and son, he said, "So then we get in the car and Harry says, ’Are we still going into town?’ and I said, ’Yes, we are,’ and he gets very upset because mom had told him if I wasn’t back in an hour, the deal was off."

Congrats Dave and Regina. You’ve made Harry proud!

Julia Roberts appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman earlier this week, but who cares about Julia, David’s son Harry Joseph Letterman was on the show at the start of the clip.

Harry is such a cutie.

Donald Trump was on David Letterman talking about booze, hookers, and a bankrupt casino he owns a part of.

On Conan O’Brien Thursday, Alec Baldwin imitated the bizarre interview Joaquin Phoenix did on David Letterman.

We’re not so much into making fun of Joaquin, and more concerned that he’ll be okay. We are hoping Joaquin is only acting for the "documentary" he’s filming.