An Un-Bi-Lievable New MTV Show

In "I Can’t Believe This Isn’t a FOX Show" news, Internet vixen Tila Tequila is getting her own dating show, with a soft core porn twist.

MySpace phenomenon Tila Tequila is getting a new MTV dating show in which 32 lucky singles compete for her attention — "Bachelor"-style — with one small difference: The contestants are half straight men and half lesbians. It’s twice the sexiness!

Tila will welcome all comers into a mansion, where she will whittle down the contestants each week, until only one man or woman is left standing. MTV is promising that each episode will end with a "dramatic ceremony unlike anything you’ve ever seen before." Alright, we’re a tad bi-curious.

"A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" premieres October 9. May the best sexually adventurous person win!

Coincidentally, Rosie O’Donnell has just applied to be an MTV Production Assistant.

Source

Pamela Anderson Dating A Magician?

Pamela Anderson has been hitting the talk show circuit with Dutch magician (pardon me…"Illusionist") Hans Klok, and now it appears that the uber-blonde twosome might be dating.

The potential lovebirds appear on tonight’s Late Late Show and host Craig Ferguson asks point blank about their relationship, asking the two if they’re dating. Here’s how Pam responded:

"There’s a lot of love backstage. It’s very physical. It’s very loving."

So either these two are going at it like bunnies or it’s all just a PR move. If it’s true, this falls squarely into the David Copperfield-Claudia Schiffer category. Damn those magicians and their inexplicable control over hot women!

Catherine Zeta-Jones Wouldn’t Settle for a Childless Life

Catherine Zeta-Jones knew what she wanted out of life and it was more than ostentatious hair treatments. The girl can drive a hard bargain.

When she was dating Michael Douglas, she was firm about her desire for a family. The Mirror reports:

Catherine, 37, said: "I turned to him and asked, ‘Do you really want children?’ I thought for one minute he was going to say, ‘I already have a son, Cameron.’

"I would then have had to say goodbye. I remember saying defiantly, ‘I can’t live without having children’. And he went, ‘Me too’," she added in an interview with Parade magazine.

Perhaps she thought that was her escape clause. Something along the lines of "Sorry, you face-lifted old man, I would love to marry you, but I’m young, gorgeous and I want a beautiful family."

Unfortunately for the glossy-haired Zeta-Jones, the cruel trick of human physiology is that even mummified men can impregnate their wenches and silence the ticking of the biological clock. And some have the ego to want to.

Playing catch with the kiddies? That’s another story.

Maybe Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook Really Are Dating Again

We kinda believed the many Jessica Simpson-is-dating-X-celeb stories were publicity stunts cooked up by Papa Joe to divert attention from her soon-to-be box-office bomb.

There were inklings that the romance rumors rearing up could be a reaction to the Nick Lachey, Vanessa Minnillo soft-core snaps that were making headlines.

But…now there is a picture. Sure, it’s not ironclad proof of the reported canoodling at the Prince show, but it’s interesting. More interesting than Dane Cook’s "comedy" and definitely more interesting than Jess’s "acting" or even her attempts at "singing."

Jessica Simpson and Jake Gyllenhaal “Secretly” Dating

We’d been sitting on the rampant Jessica Simpson dating rumors this week. They just didn’t smell right.

If one believes all the stories showing up in newspapers and online, she’s a busy little thing. Maybe that 5 Factor Diet gives her extra energy, in addition to leaving her super cut and steely.

This week alone we’ve got stories swirling that Dane Cook and Jess were seen canoodling at the Prince concert at the Hollywood Roosevelt.

Later, reports surfaced that at that same purple concert, she was seen romantically accompanied trainer to the stars Harley Pasternak, who is responsible for the fitness program cited for Simpson’s rapid physical transformation.

Now…the buzz about Jake Gyllenhaal and Jess having mutual crushes on each other is building to a crescendo with reports that they’re already in love, and that she visited him at the Beverly Wilshire a couple weeks ago.

Next thing you know there will be pregnancy claims or pending adoptions. Whatever it takes to divert our attention from the stench coming from Simpson’s rotting movie, Bombed…oops… Blonde Ambition.

What we actually smell is a rat.

A publicity-hound rat.

Around here, we call that spotlight-seeking rodent Papa Joe.

Wonder what’s next. A surprise reunion with John Mayer. How about tales of a threesome with Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo?