Dane Cook has been caught in the middle of an eviction lawsuit. The apartment building he lives in sued Dane in court because he continually let his dog crap inside the building, so the owner wanted the court to evict Cook.

Cook claimed he had to stay in the apartment or his career would be dead. He claimed the "presence" of dead comedian John Belushi, and still alive comedian Steve Martin, who used to live in his apartment building, were necessary to keep his comedy inspired. In court documents Cook claimed leaving the apartment would cause him "mental and emotional damage." Too late for that. Cook added:

"I know that the presence of those that have lived there before me affects me deeply and provides me with inspiration."

"In the same way that writers can get writer’s block, comedians can really easily run out of ideas and ’stories,’ I am extremely frightened that this will happen to me if I am forced to move out of my apartment. I’ve seen it happen to other comics, that something interferes with their connection to their creative muse, and it’s destroyed careers."

Rather than getting a therapist for his phobias Cook offered the apartment owner $40,000 to cover his dog’s crap damage if the owner would allow him to stay. Sounds like the case is over right? Not quite.

Cook made tried to make the case he couldn’t leave in an appeal, after a jury found him guilty and the court ordered him evicted.

Yesterday Cook’s attorneys went back to court to ask for the appeal to be dismissed. Why? Cook purchased a Hollywood Hills home for $7 million. Turns out all the B.S. was just an effort to buy him enough time to find a house.

Why couldn’t he have worked that out with the apartment owner outside of court?

Dane Cook is in a legal war with his West Hollywood apartment neighbors, because they say he doesn’t clean up the poo for his dog. A source said:

"Neither he nor his girl friend pick up after the dog. They’ve sent him three notices so far over the last year warning him he’ll be evicted, and they have video. The neighbors all hate him."

Dane’s rep said:

"Dane vigorously denies the allegations in the complaint and is looking forward to complete vindication through the legal proceedings."

If found guilty Dane’s neighbors will rub his nose in it, then kick him to the curb.

Kate Hudson has recently been with Owen Wilson, Dax Shephard, Dane Cook, and now Page Six says she made out with Heath Ledger at Beatrice Inn. Kate’s rep said:

"This is absolutely untrue. They ran into each other and chatted briefly, but that was the extent of it."

The Page Six spy stands by their story. Let’s take Heath out of the list of guys Kate was just with, and you’ve still got a huge slut … and a hot slut.

This is a video of Dane Cook pretending to have sex with a stuffed penguin who represents Jessica Alba. Am I the only one who doesn’t think Dane is funny? I laughed harder that time I sneezed SpaghettiO’s out of my nose. Have you ever noticed how some food looks just like white brain matter? If you sneeze it out your nose, how do you know it’s food and not your brain? When you sneeze the food out your nose you always feel stupid, so maybe it’s really your brain mixed with the food. The worst is when you see someone sneeze food out of their nose, they look around to make sure no one is watching, then eat it.

If you really want to see Dane get it on with a stuffed animal click below, you can see a video of him singing his new gay song too. I didn’t know he could sing either.

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We kinda believed the many Jessica Simpson-is-dating-X-celeb stories were publicity stunts cooked up by Papa Joe to divert attention from her soon-to-be box-office bomb.

There were inklings that the romance rumors rearing up could be a reaction to the Nick Lachey, Vanessa Minnillo soft-core snaps that were making headlines.

But…now there is a picture. Sure, it’s not ironclad proof of the reported canoodling at the Prince show, but it’s interesting. More interesting than Dane Cook’s "comedy" and definitely more interesting than Jess’s "acting" or even her attempts at "singing."