Criss Angel, who has dated Britney Spears, opened up about Britney’s VMA performance where he was expected to provide a magical backdrop. OK! Magazine reports:

"We were supposed to do a creation of stuff that we worked on and it took a lot of dedication and work to do the things that we wanted to do," Criss, on the set of his new NBC series Phenomenon, recalls exclusively to OK! about Britney’s planned VMA performance. "Unfortunately for me, she didn’t really want to put forth that type of effort.” "Basically I said, ‘Don’t worry about me. Do what you want to do. This is a big opportunity for you to do the VMAs, so if you don’t feel it, go with something else.’ And she chose to go with something else."

Every report so far just keeps confirming how stupid Britney is. Criss really tried to do Britney a favor like he does most female celebrities who suffer from drug and alcohol addiction. He hangs with them to get free press, bangs them, then leaves them hanging if they’re as stupid as Britney. Criss doesn’t let losers drag him down to their level, like his ex wife, or that girl accusing David Copperfield of rape. I never realized when I was a kid that being a magician was all about getting chicks, otherwise I might have kept my rabbit and top hat.

Britney Spears seems to think that illusion can cover up a lack of effort in her performance, preparation, and attitude. That might be how corporate executives get by, but that doesn’t make the grade when you’re a pop star. Here’s more:

Britney Spears didn’t end up working with Criss Angel on her VMA comeback performance, but her stage show was certainly full of illusions. Her lip-syncing was meant to give her the appearance of an actual singer, and her spray-on tan was supposed to make it look like she’d spent hours in the gym (as opposed to the bar).

“She had an ab-defining spray tan preshow to create the illusion of more tone,” a source tells Us. Well, we know how that turned out.

I don’t know why no one suggested Britney use one of those six pack abs you get at the Halloween costume store. Plus a French maid outfit, an eye patch, and a plastic sword. She could have had a sword fight with all the dancers, and afterwards make them walk the plank. It was Las Vegas, and anything could happen, so you gotta think big.

Britney blew her chance to have a big comeback with the help of Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, when her ego grew too big. Timbaland says the collaboration with Britney would be:

"the best thing that ever happened" and would "help her out a whole lot." But he then dismissed the possibility, saying in so many words that Brit has become big-headed and had dissed him and Justin. "It’ll never happen. Nah. It could’ve, but it won’t."

Now Timbo has even more advice to give her about getting her career back on track. "She needs a story," he said. "She has no comeback story. That’s the problem. She has to have a team. She needs to come back with Justin doing records; [then we’d see headlines like,] ’She went back to her ex and she’s making smashes.’ [But instead she got] so big-headed and [was] like, ’Screw you, screw you, I don’t need nobody.’ "

So is there any chance for Spears to rectify the situation and possibly work with Timberlake and Timbaland? Yes, says the super-producer — if she apologizes.

"She should humble herself and make a phone call and say, ’I’m sorry.’ She knows what she’s sorry about," Tim said. "She needs to say, ’I was wrong,’ and it’ll definitely move forward. … That’s all she has to say."

More bad news for Britney. Her single Gimme More got on the Billboard Hot 100, but it is hanging at number 85. If this whole pop star thing doesn’t work for her anymore, Britney will probably start her own plus size fashion line. For women only.

When Tommy Lee was in Las Vegas at the MTV Video Music Awards he spent a lot of time with his hands all over Pamela Anderson, and other guys. Here he is kissing yet another guy, this time the unfortunate victim was Criss Angel, who is obviously not receptive to being date raped by Tommy. Bars usually throw sloppy drunks out before they start groping other guys. Tommy thinks he’s a magician because he can tell guys how much change they have in their pockets, but only after he’s had his hands in their pants. It’s no wonder Kid Rock kicked his butt at the VMAs.

Tommy Lee, who was on the receiving end of all the smacks and slaps during the 15-second "fight" started by Kid Rock at the Video Music Awards, is getting his licks in all modern-style like, by posting his story on his Web site.

Here, in all of its misspelled-and-dot-dot-dot-dot-ridden glory, is the Tommy Lee smack down. With words, people. With words.

Take THAT Kid "Pebble."

Yeah!! …..here I am minding my own biz having a great time with my friend Criss Angel (magician) and watching the MTV awards in the front row saying hello to all my friends……Pamela comes and sits on my lap who I love and adore….and also say hello to my friend Travis Barker and his wife!…..and i get a text from another friend P. Diddy and he says come sit with me…..and he’s sitting with Miss HOT Megan FOX so I go over and sit with P! Not a minute later and Alicia Keys starts her amazing performance….("I apologize sweetie…..I had nothing to do with the timing and disrespect")……back to the stupid-ness!!….so….. I get a tap on the shoulder from Kid Pebble…I stand up and embrace him with a semi hug and say "Hey dude…What up"?? He punches me in the face…..well if ya wanna call it that!?….more like a bitch slap!…….Wuss!! Anyway….i go to knock this jealous country bumpkin the f$%k OUT….and before I can have a meeting with my fist and his ugly a** mug ….security guards… grab me and haul my a** outta the award show! So I’m fine and of course leave to my room with police and owner of the Palm’s George Maloof……the rest is paper work and bullsh*#%!… Anyway…… I would like to apologize to Alicia and George and MTV for the disrespectful bull*#% caused by a piece of *#% called Kid Pebble!!

Much Love always!!…..Tommy!!

How could Pamela Anderson ever leave this mental giant? All other men must just pale in comparison.

And, yeah, we edited the bad words as if the Internet is a comic strip, but we just wanted to make sure we didn’t offend your delicate sensibilities with Tommy’s raw rock-and-roll communication.

Tommy Lee. He’s raw!

Britney Spears comeback performance at the MTV 2007 VMA was supposed to shock everyone, and there were rumors that Criss Angel was going to use mirrors in her act to spice it up, but even the media whore Criss didn’t want anything to do with this performance. A bad case of diarrhea would have produced more excitement, and held my attention longer than Britney’s lame performance. The only part of her performance that was shocking, was when the audience applauded.

When your new black friends don’t even want to give you more, you know your performance was sour, like a lemon.

You can watch the video in full screen for full Britney effect.