Paris Hilton is suing Hallmark for using her image, and her trademarked phrase "That’s Hot," for $500,000 in damages. She also claims Hallmark misappropriated her image and invaded her privacy with the card.

Paris is depicted in Hallmark’s greeting cards showing her in an innocent light using clean and harmless humor. Paris is known for crotch flashing, drug toking, DUI driving, and One Night in Paris home made porn. How could Hallmark try to make Paris seem all Disney? In an alternate universe Paris would have to pay Hallmark for cleaning up her image, and the judge would personally kick her flabby a$$ out of his courtroom with his size 12 cowboy boot. My favorite is the one below. I’m sending that one out for Christmas.

Big celebrities get all kinds of preferential treatment in this world. They don’t have to pay for anything, they don’t have to make reservations, and they can generally get out of messes with a little charm. But there is at least one equalizer: Jury duty. Brad Pitt learned this lesson Thursday as he had to march down to the courthouse just like the rest of us slobs.

Okay, maybe Brad’s jury duty wasn’t exactly like the rest of ours. His limousine got to park in the employee parking area, he got to wait in a special room until it was time to meet the judge and attorneys, and he had lunch brought in to him. But other than that, he had to sweat it out like everyone else.

Lucky for Mr. Pitt, the defendant in his would-be case decided to plead "no contest" to his DUI charges and all the jurors got to go home with time served. Angelina must be very relieved.

Apparently it runs in the family. TMZ is reporting that Paris Hilton’s cousin, Brooke Ashley Brinson, got a DUI late last year in a Mercedes registered to Paris herself.

Brinson reportedly blew a 0.15 (yeah, that’s about twice the legal limit) and was only 20 years old to boot. Still, Brinson has some big shoes to fill in the train wreck department. Paris’ train has been careening off the track for a few years now.

Brinson will get her day in court on August 3. We predict there won’t be many reporters camping out front for this verdict.

No love for the Rich-ie. According to TMZ, Nicole did not get the court date continuance she initially requested.

The Commissioner in the Nicole Richie DUI case did not grant the continuance Nicole Richie wanted. Period.

As TMZ first reported, Richie’s lawyer asked for a continuance until August 5th, because her expert witness, Dr. Terence McGee, was not available to testify then. Commissioner Steven Lubell was visibly upset and ordered both Nicole’s lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, and the prosecutor into chambers. When the Commissioner came out, he said he would not rule on the continuance and ordered all parties into court tomorrow morning at 8:30 AM — that’s when the trial is scheduled to begin.

What makes this even more of a conundrum for the pill-popping, wrong-way-driving, emaciated mom-to-be is that she flew to Calgary last night for her baby daddy’s show. Facing a minimum of five days in prison if convicted, this is anything but The Simple Life. On the bright side, she can use her baby bump to smuggle in contraband.

Source

Miss April 1989 was arrested over the weekend on an alleged DUI. Oberlin, Ohio police pulled over Jennifer Lyn Jackson and found beer bottles, marijuana, and rolling papers in her car. 

The former bunny managed to blow .077 on the breathalyzer, just sneaking under the state’s .08 limit. That’s like passing with a D minus grade. Not great, but passing nonetheless.

Jackson is pleading not guilty and will appear in court next week. You think Heff will still hire some good lawyers for her?