Hollywood heartthrob Colin Farrell has been lambasted by Woody Allen’s former au pair, for being such a disappointment in bed. French siren Angelique Jerome and the Miami Vice star hooked up just hours before his London premiere of the cop drama on the set of Allen’s new movie, starring Farrell and Ewan McGregor.

However, despite the 24-year-old brunette’s delight at being singled out by the actor with an invitation to his hotel, Jerome has slammed his lovemaking as overrated and his bad-boy image as a myth. She says, “He must have told me I was beautiful eight times. I like bad boys. But he was too nice. He kept telling me how beautiful I was and I thought, ’just shut up.’

“He comes across as a tiger on screen, but behind closed doors he’s as wild as Mickey Mouse. “Maybe he has lots of women because he’s not that good in bed. Maybe they don’t want to stay.”

So, if you want to experience Disney Land, then Colin Farrell is your man. Let’s get it on Mickey-style baby.

Colin Farrell mocked his Minority Report co-star Tom Cruise on TV shows Today, and Live with Regis and Kelly yesterday. The Irish actor is currently promoting his latest movie Miami Vice, and took the opportunity to remind Today host Matt Lauer of his headline-hitting interview with Cruise in June 2005.

When Cruise appeared on the Today show last year to promote his War of the Worlds movie, Lauer quizzed him over his Scientology religion, and controversial stance on psychiatry and prescription medication. During the fiery debate, Cruise blasted Lauer, saying, “You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do… You’re glib.”

On the show yesterday, Farrell joked, “Stop being glib, Matt! You’re glib, Matt, you’re glib, you’re glib.” As Lauer struggled to keep a straight face, Farrell added, “Are you being glib again?”

Hours later, when Farrell appeared on Live with Regis and Kelly, the morning show returned from a commercial break to find the actor glad-handing the audience, just as Cruise does during his lengthy walkabouts before his film premiere.

Farrell told hosts Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa, “Doing my best Tom Cruise impersonation.”

The picture above on the right is Farrell with Jamie Foxx on TRL. The pictures below are Farrell with his son. There is a video in the gallery after the jump, which includes the interview with Matt Lauer, and pictures of Farrell and his son are on the video.

Colin Farrell attributes his luck in Hollywood to a little pouch of crystals he carries around with him all the time. He says, “I got them off a friend about four years ago, and I just haven’t lost them; I lose everything but I haven’t lost these. They’re for good luck.”

The actor showed off his lucky charms when he appeared as a guest on chat show The Tonight Show With Jay Leno on Thursday night, admitting even he’s astonished that his crystals are still on his person.

Too bad the crystals also attract stalkers.

On Friday, Colin Farrell filed for, and was granted, a temporary restraining order against Dessarae Bradford, the woman who confronted him Thursday on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. She must stay 150 yards away from him and have no contact with him.

“I am concerned for the safety of my family,” Farrell states in the legal documents, “given Ms. Bradford’s ongoing course of conduct and escalating unwanted personal contact.”

Farrell writes that Bradford “accosted” him Thursday by “throwing books into my lap.” The actor also listed his ex-girlfriend Kim Bordenave and their son, James, 2, as needing protection from Bradford, who lives in Los Angeles.

A New Jersey native, Bradford, 31, is a former phone-sex operator and model. In the past, she has accused Farrell of sexual harassment, claiming he called and text messaged her repeatedly between September 2004 and March 2005.

She filed two lawsuits against him, first in November 2004 and again in July 2005. Both suits were dismissed.

Bradford, who once announced on her Web site, “I am waging war on Colin Farrell,” has recorded a song titled “Colin Farrell is my Bitch” and self-published a book called Colin Farrell: A Dark Twisted Puppy.

The temporary restraining order is in effect until Aug. 16, at which time a court hearing is set to allow Bradford to respond to Farrell’s grievances.

Bradford claims she just wanted to make sure Colin got served with papers.

Bradford announced she will hold a press conference. Read Bradford’s e-mail to the press, and her explanation about The Tonight Show events, after the jump…

Colin Farrell was left fearing for his life on the set of new movie Miami Vice when drug enforcement cops made him believe a hoax cocaine deal was the real thing.

The Irish actor was researching his role in the movie adaptation of the hit TV series when Miami, Florida detectives asked him if he wanted to be part of a real sting operation.

Unbeknownst to Farrell, director Michael Mann had set up the ruse and was filming his star as a fake gun was pulled on him.

The Alexander star, who is still recovering from the ordeal, recalls, “We were running fake scenarios in a car park in Miami, and then came the time when they were doing a deal themselves. They were buying 40 kilos of cocaine from a bunch of Colombians.

“They said to me, ’You can come with us if you want. These guys, we’ve dealt with them before, they’re not into trouble. They just want to make money. They’re all about the business.’ I was put on the spot, and my ego was pulled into question, and I said, ’Absolutely, I’m there with you…’ and we went along to a deal that I thought was real, and it went arse over elbow and a gun came out. I saw the tape back and, seriously, I can see the moment where I had a bowel movement… and I smoked about 17 cigarettes in about 20 minutes. They were taking the p*ss, it was a whole set up and they got me.”