Anne Heche, who went straight after cheating on Ellen DeGeneres, says she can’t pay the $14,798 in monthly child support she owes.

Anne cheated on Ellen, then left her for Coley Laffoon, who she had a baby with. Then the idiot cheated on Coley with another guy and left him, but she lost custody of their child, so now she’s stuck paying child support which she claims she can’t afford. Anne says now that her Men in Trees series was cancelled, she’s broke. She claims she only has $34,840.93 in the bank, and she’s $364,000 in the hole. Anne says she still gets checks for past work, but she can only pay for essential things like her Canadian mortgage, rent in Los Angeles, car, etc., but not child support, or her child’s private school tuition.

The judge allowed her to miss the payment for this month. She’s going to have to sell her house, or find work, because judges require child support to come first. Just ask all those dads out there who are living in one room hell-hole apartments barely making it, so they can pay child support, and if they don’t they go to jail, which might have better accommodations then their apartment. If Anne pushes it she could end up in a jail cell. Knowing Anne, she’d probably fall in love with her cell mate, and leave her current boyfriend.

Cheater Anne Heche doesn’t like being on the losing end of a divorce she caused. Here’s more:

In documents filed in L.A. Superior Court, Coley Laffoon accuses Heche of taking a number of items – including the master bed and yoga-room rugs – from the L.A. home they share. (Under the terms of a judge’s temporary order, they alternate use of the house while Heche is in Los Angeles.)

He’s now asking that the court order the actress to return the property and prohibit her from removing any more items.

Laffoon also alleges that when he returned to the home July 1 and found the furniture missing, he also "discovered that [Heche] had gone into my closet and ripped the buttons off of 19 of my shirts and removed some of my pants."

Heche denies Laffoon’s claims, and says that all the items she took – her list includes four pillows from Bali, pink bedding and a "picture of saint" – were hers before their marriage.

"All of the furniture, furnishings, artwork, etc. that was acquired during marriage and paid for with funds earned during the marriage remains" at the residence, she says in court documents. Heche adds that the items she removed were intended for her unfurnished residence in Vancouver, where Men in Trees begins shooting later this month.

The furniture fracas comes weeks after a judge ruled the former couple’s 5-year-old son Homer will live with his father in Los Angeles while Heche films in Canada, and have alternate weekend visits with Heche while she shoots the ABC show.

Coley Laffoon is an inspiration to ambitious-yet-burnt-out cameramen everywhere.

Set your sights on the right unstable, young working actress, recently hospitalized for a well-documented post-break-up meltdown, and you, too, could ride the crazy train to easy street in six, short yet terrifying, years.

Of course, you need to pick a worker.  She needs to be pounding the pavement, in search of the perfect episodic TV role, so you can support her on the homefront…and get accustomed to a lifestyle.   This is key.

The rainmaker? Your beloved tot.  You can display your superior and noble parenting skills, of which the notably unstable wife is so proud, and get that in writing, preferably in a mainstream publication.

According to E! Online:

A Los Angeles Superior Court judge awarded the actress’ estranged husband, Coley Laffoon, primary physical custody of their five-year-old son, Homer, and an unspecified amount of child support.

Heche, who’s headed back to Vancouver next month to start shooting the second season of Men in Trees, will have alternate weekend visits with the boy.

A source told E! News, however, that Laffoon—who was originally gunning for $33,000 a month in spousal and child support to maintain the "marital standard of living" to which he had become accustomed—got "far below his original demands."

It’s about time the tables were turned, with sisters doin’ it for themselves and all.

Though Anne Heche will be paying Laffoon a smaller monthly amount, we’re sure whatever it is, it’s better than union scale.

The only sad point: tug-of-war victim, sweet, baby Homer.

Anne Heche claims that she deserves sole legal custody of her 5-year-old son Homer because her soon-to-be-ex husband, Coley Laffoon, masturbates too much.

In court papers filed earlier this week, Heche claims that she can "no longer ignore an escalating pattern in Coley’s behavior, including a particular preoccupation with sexually graphic material and masturbation."

Heche is just preoccupied with cheating. Is it any wonder her exes are always masturbating? She’s a whack job.