Jon Stewart on Monday pointed out how CNN spent a lot of time trying to fact check a Saturday Night Live skit that said President Obama hasn’t done anything since taking office. Stewart said:

"While you were doing your research did you also find that sharks live in water and don’t deliver candy grams… and that the majority of boxes do not have d*cks in them?"

Stewart also showed several instances of CNN guests saying spurious things, and introducing made-up statistics without being asked where their numbers came from or countered with facts.

To wrap up Stewart brought in Aasif Mandvi and John Oliver to finish burning CNN at the stake. Mandvi said:

"They’re the most professional network in the business, three times more professional. Most people agree they have 20 to 35 to 70% more facts."

Oliver countered by saying:

"They are goat f**kers."

It’s hard to argue with not made-up facts. On the bright side CNN has a great iPhone App that delivers all their B.S. straight to your phone 24 hours a day.

Puff Diddy. Dim Witty. Whatever his name is. If his "good friend" Sienna Miller can’t keep it straight, why should we be expected to stay informed?

The rapper/producer/designer/entrepreneur/baby daddy formerly known as Sean "Puffy" Combs has recorded a new song because he is suffering. According to Page Six:

SEAN Combs is mining his heartbreak for artistic purposes. Having been dumped by the mother of three of his children, Combs has cut a song titled "Through the Pain . . . a k a Kim Porter," and a video that debuted Thursday on "106 & Park" on BET. Hip-hop Web site Sohh.com reports Combs created the music video as a response to Porter’s appearance on CNN discussing their breakup. "This is how he’s coming back," the site says. "Basically it’s like, ‘You’re putting me through hell.’

Is he kidding? So much for symbolism and mystery.

This is the musical equivalent of those badly written tragedy books the publishers churn out to quickly profit from the 24-hour-news culture. Or those Law & Order episodes, ripped from the headlines.

If he’s going to milk this for sympathy and dollars, he’d appeal to more of the public by being more honest with his obvious song titles.

Kim Porter, I Know I Did(died) You Wrong, But Damn Girl That Sienna is Hot!

(My Baby Mama Just Had Twins) Meet Me Out for Some Cristal

Or, he could rip off…er…."sample" Lionel Richie and sing something like Once, Twice, Three Times, My Babies…But I’ll Never Marry You

Tammy Faye Bakker, or Tammy Faye Messner as she is called now, was a guest on Larry King Live on Thursday, then on Friday Tammy died. She was 65 pounds, and had colon cancer that metastasized to her lungs then ended her life. Her son Jay Bakker said in the Revolution Church newsletter:

After fighting cancer for eleven years, my mother passed away on July 20 at 4AM. She had a very peaceful death and is no longer in pain. To grant her wish she was cremated today and her ashes were buried at a private ceremony. The service was performed by my good friend Randy McCain of Open Door Community Church in Sherwood, AR.

Thank you to everyone for their prayers and support over the years – it has helped me more than you will ever know. Please continue to pray for her husband Roe as well as the rest of my family.

A public ceremony is currently being planned – an update will be sent once the details are finalized along with where to send flowers. I ask that all press would please allow me to grieve privately at this time. Thank you.

Source

People magazine has released excerpts of their Paris Hilton "exclusive" cover story.

Delusional Paris quotes from the article include this assessment of her own character:

"I’m a good person. I’m a compassionate person. I have a big heart. I’m sincere, and they’ll see."

Her description of the "medical condition" that resulted in her short-lived re-assignment to home detention:

"I was basically in the fetal position, basically in hysterics … and having severe anxiety and panic attacks."

And an explanation for her rapid jailhouse conversion, and a heart-warming recollection of her social life in the big house:

"There was a nun who works at the jail for all the ladies, and she would come every day and we would pray," she said. "There were girls next to me. … We could talk through the vents and they were just really sweet."

That poor devoted Sister. All that work with the convicts and daily reading of the Word for three-and-a-half weeks, yet Paris couldn’t think of one favorite Bible passage for Larry King last night.

Trying to help Paris during that uncomfortable pause, we feebly shouted a suggestion to the TV screen.

Jesus wept! Jesus wept!

Jesus wept, indeed.

That’s deep, brothers and sisters.

To think America’s Paris Hilton, crotch-flashing, sex-tape-profiting, celebutard, can utter that bit of wisdom on Larry King "Live" with a straight face and nary an eyelash flutter.

Maybe she’s really changed. Perhaps we’re in for some real surprises during the show…which turns out not to be live. Who knew?