Christina Aguilera may not want to admit it publicly, but she is…well I’m just gonna say it…she’s pregnant. I’m not sure how she made her boobs look smaller than her belly. My theory is duct tape and bungee cords. Unlike Nicole Richie who looks like a pregnant troll, Christina is beautiful, even when she’s not smiling. If she adjusted that lipstick a little she could make it look like she’s smiling, just like clowns do.

Although Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman haven’t officially announced her pregnancy, Ken Ehrlich, Executive Producer of this year’s Emmy telecast, and Paris Hilton did at two separate events. It’s surprising Paris could take time out from pleasing her boyfriends to use her mouth to speak. OK! is reporting Christina will be having a baby boy.

It’s always been a mystery to me why everyone always rubs a woman’s belly when she’s pregnant. If you rub it does a genie pop out and grant the person three wishes? I prefer shaking the snow globes, and seeing the nipples get hard.

Although Christina Aguilera has not yet told the world she is pregnant, despite her growing baby bump, Paris Hilton hijacked a microphone and did it for her. Good golly Paris is desperate for attention. Christina was hosting a party at LAX Nightclub in the Luxor when Paris took the microphone at 2 a.m. and said, "Congratulations to the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world. You’re gorgeous."

Jordan Bratman whispered something like, "who invited this b!tch?" The rumor is true, Paris’ mouth is as big as her vagina.

Christina Aguilera was performing in Perth, Australia this weekend when she pointed out her ever growing baby bump. Neither Christina nor husband Jordan Bratman have publicly admitted to the pregnancy yet. She’s such a tease.

Congratulations are in order. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman have a bambino on the way.

E! is reporting it as fact, today, and the Internets are abuzz with purported confirmations from the pop singer’s estranged papa.

Xtina is still touring the Far East and fans have noted that she’s taken to wearing a heart-rate monitor on her wrist. Seems she may have been keeping tabs on her exertion out of concern for her tiny tummy tot.

Guess July 3rd is pregnancy-confirmation day. Any others ready to make any joyous announcements? Demi? Britney? Jessica Simpson?