Channing Tatum described how he burned his penis with boiling water while filming The Eagle of the Ninth in Scotland, and he even provided pictures for the Interviewer to see, but none for us. Bummer. Anyway, Tatum explained he had to wade through freezing water in a wet suit:

"The only way to keep warm was by pouring a mix of boiling water and river water down your suit. We were finally done shooting for the day, and one of the crew guys asks if I want to warm up before I go. I’m like, Nah, I’m good. And then I thought, Why not? Thing is, he’d forgotten to dilute the kettle water. So he poured scalding water down my suit. And I was trying to pull the suit away from my body to somehow get away from the boiling water, and the more I pulled the suit away, the lower the water went. It just went straight down and pretty much burned the skin off the head of my dick."

He was rushed to a hospital, put on morphine and eventually healed. But Tatum, best known perhaps for his lead role in "G.I. Joe," saved pictures of the damage and showed them off to the interviewer.

Channing Tatum’s penis is gross. It looks like a hot dog that’s been left too long on the grill. The tip is hot-pink, singed, and shriveled. It appears angry. And it’s painful to view. My penis hurts just from looking at it. Movie stars tend to be vain, by nature and profession, but Chan, that’s what everyone calls him, does not mind one bit showing me his sad, withered wiener.

"It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced in my life," he says, flipping through photos on his iPhone until he lands on a grainy snapshot of a scorched member. His scorched member. "I’m good . . . now," he says with a grin. "Now my penis is fantastic! One hundred percent recovered. Put me back in the game, Coach."

If you’re wondering why Tatum would choose to talk about his penis, he was doing an interview with gay magazine Details. It’s like a woman’s magazine, except it’s for gay men.

Channing Tatum (29) used to be called Chan Crawford when he was a male stripper. Tatum used to dance in a Chippendales-style revue called Male Encounter in 1999 when he was 18 years-old in a now defunct Florida nightclub. The owner of the dance troupe London Steele said:

"He was shy at first, but he really knew how to work the stage. Tatum lip-synched in the act and earned $50 a night, plus tips, during his year-long stint."

"The women went crazy for him!"

Currently Tatum married his Step Up costar Jenna Dewan on July 11, and he has a lead role in G.I. Joe. As I said in my review of G.I. Joe, Tatum’s acting was weak, and now it’s clear why he was in the movie at all, his appeal with the ladies. The poor acting turned me, and probably a lot of other movie goers, off.

I saw G.I. Joe – The Rise of Cobra Sunday, and it was really good. Well worth seeing it at the theater, and much better than the critics said it would be. Critics gave G.I. Joe a D, but I gave it a B. The critics really got it wrong on this movie.

First the bad news. Channing Tatum, who plays Duke, gave a very weak acting performance. It’s no wonder the author of a book about a real hired killer broke off a movie deal because Tatum was picked to play the lead. The author said Tatum wasn’t tough enough, and wanted Mickey Rourke. The author was so right.

The good news is that everyone else, even Sienna Miller, who played the Baroness, gave really good performances.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is set to play a lead role in the sequel, since he becomes the Cobra Commander.

Not only was this an unexpectedly good movie, but I will see the sequel.

The video above is meant to be humorous. It’s called The Ballad of G.I. Joe.