Kid Rock was on Howard Stern when he talked about how Pamela Anderson was broke when he married her. Then we hear she slept with Rick Salomon to settle a gambling debt, then married him, and now In Touch Weekly claims Pam is two months pregnant. Pam has Hepatitis C. Here’s more about the baby’s risk of catching Hepatitis C:

If a pregnant woman has risk factors for hepatitis C, she should be tested for antibodies against HCV. About four out of every hundred infants born to HCV infected women become infected. The virus is spread to the baby at the time of birth. There is no treatment that can prevent this from happening.

Being a celebrity is a degenerative disease that is incurable, and causes a decreased ability to reason, leading ultimately to harm of the individual or others. Pam is a text book case. She’s not stupid though. When Pam was married to Kid she said she had a miscarriage. Kid filed for divorce before she got pregnant again. Very smart. Rick on the other hand, might have knocked up Pam plus he married her. Rick has just entered the double jeopardy round of his future legal problems with Pam.

Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia watched the L.A. Kings hockey game this weekend. I’m not sure if you’ve ever seen a hockey game, so let me explain. These giant guys with big sticks skate around on the ice stopping periodically to beat the hell out of each other till the ice turns red. With that said I can’t understand what Hayden could think is so incredibly funny. Milo looks a bit confused. It’s called acting my friend. Hayden forgot she’s only supposed to laugh when Milo says something, so he thinks he made her laugh, and thus boost his self confidence. Judging by Hayden’s inability to time her laughter, she’s likely to burst out laughing during sex, causing her lover to lose his ability to ever attain an erection with a girl again. Perhaps this is why some men where pink shirts. Of course, I wouldn’t know. It’s not like I have all the answers, just most of them, after all, I’m only a scientist, not a celebrity.

JR Rotem has turned Britney Spears on to Zohar, a book on Jewish mysticism. The only problem is, Britney can only read popup books. They stopped at a GNC for more health stuff, but they didn’t buy anything. Looks like they haven’t made much progress on getting Britney healthy again. However, the pair did manage to get a flat tire. The paparazzi changed it, while the cops watched. It must be amazing to be a celebrity. It’s like being a baby. Other people feed you, change your tires, and wipe your a$$. Britney once again adorned herself with a hat, and brought along her dog. I wonder if the dog barks at people when Britney is eating in resturaunts. I’m not a big fan of Britney’s hats. How about putting an apple on her head, and let me try to shoot it off? Apparently Britney will never learn how to exit a car without looking like a trucker.

Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon got married last evening. The wedding took place between the 7 p.m. and 10 p.m. shows of Hans Klok’s The Beauty of Magic at Planet Hollywood resort. Pam wore a white Valentino dress she probably got at the celebrity Good Will store. At the 10 p.m. magic show Pam announced:

"Hello, I just got married … I did," she said after performing the second show of the night. "I’m distracted. It’s a big day. A big day at the office."

With nothing much left resembling a career, Pam has turned to marriage to keep the money flowing. The 5 minute wedding, and denim dress, speaks volumes about how much value she puts into this marriage, which is number 3. I give this marriage less than 4 months. Pam recently settled a gambling debt owed to Rick by sleeping with him, then announced her whoring publicly. Perhaps this wedding was to settle another debt, or on a dare. Pam has Hepatitis C, and we know Rick did a sex tape with Paris Hilton who has herpes, so that means Pam has it too. Pam is like a sewer. She’ll do the diseased guys that no one else wants to touch. At this point, it might be safer to sleep with a street hooker without protection, than Pamela Anderson.

Danielle Lloyd who is a lingerie model, a former Miss England 2004, and a former Celebrity Big Brother contestant, showed off these manly hairy arm pits for My Bloody Hell. This is why I don’t date women who originated in the former communist Russian republic. Not only do those women shave their faces three times a day, they can bench a nuclear reactor core … while it’s still hot.