Lindsay Lohan was questioned by police after she brought several men to an all-night party, and the owners reported to police that those men stole valuable jewlry. She then left town to avoid looking suspicious. Police say she is not a suspect, which seems like the same old great police work we’ve become accustomed to.
Tomorrow’s headline: “Police arrest Lindsay Lohan for pawning stolen jewelry.”
Thursday’s headline: “Lindsay faces 3 years in state prison.”
Friday’s headline: “Judge orders Lindsay to serve 2 hours of community service for theft.”
Monday’s headline: “Lohan fails to show up for community service, judge says ‘Close enough.’”
Amanda Bynes was in yet another hit-and-run car accident. She’s quickly approaching Lindsay Lohan’s record, but Amanda isn’t facing a lot of lawsuits, probably because she hasn’t hijacked a car yet, but that’s coming.
TMZ said: Bynes was driving in the San Fernando Valley at around 8 PM when a car rear-ended her rental. The driver of the other car claims Amanda made a reckless maneuver that triggered the collision. Cops showed up but no one was ticketed.
BTW, Amanda is in a rental because her Beemer is in the body shop.
The other night Amanda ran out of gas, and had to call AAA, which is a good thing, because if her phone battery would have gone dead there would have only been one option left, to hijack a car, and overtake Lindsay’s record.
All my new jokes are going to start out like this: Amanda Bynes Walks Into a Bar…
Arianny Celeste Lopez (26) was arrested Saturday for domestic violence after she kicked her boyfriend, Praveen Chandra (34), in the nose, and threw two vases at him. He was also arrested because she claimed he grabbed her arm, and there were marks on it. All this happened because she said she saw text message on her boyfriend’s phone to other girls. Doesn’t this sound exactly like Chris Brown and Rihanna? So the argument got so loud a Las Vegas, Nevada Wynn hotel employee told police he/she heard crashing sounds from the room about 4:30 am, then Arianny came running out.
Arianny sounds like a dream girl. It’s a mystery she isn’t married with children already.
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The Maple Douche, aka Justin Bieber (18), got into a fight with a photographer on Sunday, in Calabasas, California where Justin lives, after witnesses say the photo wouldn’t move his car that was blocking Justin’s. It’s not clear exactly what happened, but after Justin ran around his giant van a few times, he sped over to the man with the camera, and threw his shoe at him, or hit him or something menacing that made the paparazzo call 911. Approximately 4 fire trucks, 12 police cars, and 82 emergency personel showed up along with an ambulance to transport the guy who Justin allegedly beat up because she complained of upper body pain. The photo was taken to the hospital where he gave a police report that sounded something like this:
“And, and then he run around van and shoe fall off, and he yell something at me, hurt my feeling so bad. How much this going to cost to fix me?”
Hobbits are not to be underestimated.
After the altercation Justin left the country, and is now in Norway. Police investigators have to wait for him to return before they can interview him. In the meantime, although cops have completed half their investigation, so they have referred the case to the county prosecutor to decide if criminal battery charges will be filed.
Just a few days before Justin was training with Mike Tyson (video below), and from the looks of the damage he is doing to the punching bag it must have been Selena Gomez who did the beat down. Odds are that Justin and Selena will be over soon.
Eric Kelly should have been the guy to train Bieber, at least he’d tell Bieber the truth about his boxing skills. (video below. Prepare to laugh your balls off, even if you don’t have any.)
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Arianny Celeste (26), real name Arianny Lopez, was arrested in Las Vegas, Nevada at 7:30 am for allegations of domestic violence. The Clark County Detention Center web site says Celeste was taken into custodyheld on $3,000 bond. She was released at 7 pm, and will have a court hearing on May 28, 2012.
Applying some stereotypes, she is a mix of Mexican and Filipino, so accordingly it can be assumed she is hot blooded, meaning she does everything with a passion, even fighting.
Sometime today, either before or after her arrest she posted two pictures. One with a guy, perhaps her boyfriend, with the caption “??! forever n always??, and another that read “I be going crayyyy ha hey bay bayyy.”
Crazy, hot, and passionate. That’s playing with fire.
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