Last night on The Celebrity Apprentice, Joan Rivers and Melissa Rivers went completely nuts after Melissa was fired by Donald Trump in the boardroom. Melissa accused Annie Duke, a Las Vegas poker icon, and Brande Roderick, the outspoken stylista, of conspiring to get Melissa fired. Joan also joined her daughter in the tirade, and left with her daughter vowing not to come back, even though she wasn’t fired, and were on different teams.

Mother and daughter called Annie and Brande whores, pit vipers, scum, piece of sh!t, dumb blonde, and white trash poker player. Las Vegas folks are not going to be happy.

Joan said ot Annie:

"I met your people in Vegas for 40 years. None of them have last names! You’re a pokaaaaaah playaaaa….a pokaaaaaah playa….That’s beyond white trash! Pokah plays are trash, darling!"

Annie responded:

"Poker plays are the most awesome people in the world."

Even Trump, and the board members, looked uncomfortable in the board room when they heard Joan and Melissa going nuts outside. Melissa acted like a spoiled brat, and a sore loser, and mom enabled her. Shameful.

In some train-wreckalicious reality TV news, Page Six is reporting that The Donald is trying to enlist the whore corps for "Celebrity Apprentice."

The Donald tells Page Six he’s talking with Britney Spears about appearing on his upcoming "Celebrity Apprentice," and that Paris Hilton has also expressed an interest in being scrutinized by the mega-mogul. He’s also planning to call Lindsay Lohan this week to see if she’d be willing to try to salvage her plummeting career on the show.

"We’re negotiating with Britney right now. Can you imagine her doing it?" Trump told Page Six. "We’re not sure what will happen. She’s a [bleep]ing mess. And that little reality show she had did nothing. But she likes the idea of being on television and I think she’d be great." Hilton, he adds, "wants to be on, and we’re thinking about it, but I don’t know if we’re going to do it."

And Lohan? "Another [bleep]ing mess. We haven’t asked her yet, but I’m going to call her this week. It would a positive thing for her to do . . . for all of them," he says.

Seriously, this has to happen. Can’t you just picture it? Paris would spend the whole time trying to promote the sequel to her sex tape, "One Night In Paris And All I Got Was This Lousy Case of Herpes." Britney would be pimping an energy drink for kids. Baby Bull, Y’all! And Lindsay would just drink herself into oblivion and, when the Donald tells her she’s fired, she’ll run him over with a golf cart and blame it on some poor Production Assistant.

The Donald is slowly making more enemies than friends with his latest opinion on another celeb. Lindsay Lohan’s mom, Dina, is steamed over the statements made by Donald Trump about her daughter. The entrepreneur did an interview with the New York Post giving advice on the troubled star when questioned about her recent drinking-driving arrest.

Trump said: Find what you love doing (other than drugs and alcohol), work hard, stay focused, get a new set of parents – then join me on Celebrity Apprentice, which is shooting soon – I’ll keep you straight!”

Ms. Lohan replied in anger to Trump’s comments to Access Hollywood.

“Donald, I’m really disappointed in the statement that was brought to my attention from The New York Post. I’ve always had a great admiration for your business sense and I’ve read all your books and learned from them!” Dina explained.

“Your own brother died of alcoholism and you own Trump Vodka? You say Lindsay needs new parents? Such a rash statement without backing it with fact? I am a single mother of four children doing what I can during this difficult time! Do a background check of both parents and you will find the truth! Shame on you … so many families suffer from this, yours included. We need solutions not opinions!”