It never happened. That’s what Bruce Willis has to say about those rumors that he and Lindsay Lohan had a short-lived "thing."

In an interview with the Mirror, Willis concedes that he has a rakish image and that his denials of hanky-panky with Firecrotch will fall on deaf ears.

“Here’s what you have to know,” he says with a hint of exasperation. “I don’t pay attention to the gossip anymore. I don’t look at it or let it in my house. We could go down to a newsstand right now and find five stupid things that are written about me, but I just don’t care.

“I stopped fighting it when I was a young kid and I was trying to find my way, just flailing wildly, figuring out how to handle fame. Setting the record straight… I couldn’t care less. Because no matter how many times I tell you I had nothing to do with Lindsay Lohan and never laid a finger on her – she just hung out with my younger daughter Tallulah for a minute – it’s still gonna be set in stone. It’s out of my control.”

Bruce, we believe you. Really.

In the time that has passed since those rumors were hot, we’ve learned that Lindsay was raised by a liar, that she has delusions of influential connections to an ex-Vice President, and that she can’t spell the word adequate.

Her alleged claims – and then public denials – that the two of you were hitting it off seem less convincing now than ever.

We’re just glad that rehab has reduced said Lohan hook-up claims. We’re bracing for the new wave of Lindsay-finds-love stories we’ll soon have to post.

And it makes our fingers cry.

This is either enviable and admirable, or it’s gross. We can’t decide.

According to the New York Post Bruce Willis has been up to the following shenanigans.

"At the after-party for his movie premiere Friday night, at Spotlive Live in Times Square, Willis was spotted "flirting and leaving with a gorgeous young blonde." Our spy said he picked her up "right in front of [his 18-year-old daughter] Rumer Willis." On Sunday, the bald bachelor held court with a table of "20-something models" while celebrating Petra Nemcova’s birthday at the Gramercy Park Hotel – again with his daughter looking on.

Maybe his daughter thinks it’s cool. It’s hard to tell what it might be like. We never palled around with our hot-at-50, action-movie-hero single dad when we were 18.

Maybe it would be all, like, yippee-ki-yay, and stuff.

Yea…no.

Final verdict? Ewwwww…

Die Hard 4 is a movie about a guy (Bruce Willis) that keeps getting himself into the same situation over and over and over and over again. The plot is as realistic as a porno, where one guy keeps bumping into groups of horny women that all want him so bad they tear his clothes off. Len Wiseman directed the movie, not the porno, Die Hard 4, which sounds like a porno movie name.

Len is married to Kate Beckinsale, and although the couple were rumored a while back to be having marriage difficulties and living a few miles apart, they appear to be just as normal as a couple of horny high school kids at the prom.

Kate Beckinsdale was radiant and her body looked amazing in the skintight white dress she wore to the UK premiere of Die Hard 4.0.

Tongues are really wagging, and hanging out, after she and husband Len Wiseman steamed up the dance floor that night, says The Daily Mail.

Pictures of Wiseman, the film’s director, clasping Beckinsdale’s behind are eclipsing photos of the flick’s star, Bruce Willis, who was looking pretty good himself.

Read more and see the party pics…

Making his case once again for having The Greatest Life In The World, Bruce Willis is now said to be dating super hot Playboy Playmate Tamara Witmer. The New York Daily News says:

The 52-year-old actor is now trying out Playmate Tamara Witmer, who at 23 is five years older than his daughter Rumer. Witmer, for one, isn’t bothered by the age difference. "People expect that," she says. She admits being "a little nervous" when she recently met the "Die Hard" star at L.A.’s Peninsula Hotel. That was after they got to know each other over the phone. "He’s got the sexiest voice!" she says. "He’s so smooth and suave. I don’t mind the bald head. He’s really good looking in person."

First off, High five! Now some may have a problem with Bruce dating a girl more than half his age. If you’re a guy and you don’t think this is a good idea, I don’t know how to break this to you, but you’re gay now. Sorry man, tough break. You’re gay and you kiss guys and you dance around with guys and you hug them and you wear hoop earrings. Either that or you’ve been dead for several hours. Of those, I’d rather be gay. Gay people have it made in this country. No kids, you’re own parades, pink Superman muscle shirts. Now that’s the good life!

Click here to see naked pictures of Tamara. (WARNING – these Tamara pics are all really really naked. So, by "WARNING", I mean "YOURE WELCOME")