British Train Wreck Alert. Pete Doherty is up to his lushalicious tricks to get Kate Moss back into the mess that is his life. Us Magazine reports:

Not even four weeks after Kate Moss kicked him out of her house, Pete Doherty is looking to win her back. Doherty, 28, has asked U.K. paper The Daily Mirror to help him get through to Moss, 33. His master plan? Have them print his ramblings about their love for her (and the whole world) to read!

He tells The Mirror, "I love her with all my heart. I like the way she walks and talks. I love her bones. I love her brain."

And yet that seems improbable when the man known as Babyshambles recounts the couple’s last days. "We were watching a DVD together and Kate started going ‘I could tell by the way you were sitting back there that you’ve f-d [a female neighbor].’ I said ‘You’re out of your f-ing mind.’ I was really up for some peace and love that morning. I wasn’t up for being called a c- and being kicked in the head."

Since the breakup, Doherty has moved on and proposed to an artist identified only as Christine. Engaged or not, however, it’s Moss he wants. He tells the paper, "I made rather a rash gesture. It was more in a fit of anger. I asked this bird Christine to marry me."

Is it just me or is this guy about as attractive as a leper’s ass? I have no idea what that might look like, but it sounds bad. The guy needs to shower…for about thirty years. He should marry Britney Spears so they could give Sean and Jayden a sweaty little sibling that the two of them can use as an ash tray.

Puff Diddy. Dim Witty. Whatever his name is. If his "good friend" Sienna Miller can’t keep it straight, why should we be expected to stay informed?

The rapper/producer/designer/entrepreneur/baby daddy formerly known as Sean "Puffy" Combs has recorded a new song because he is suffering. According to Page Six:

SEAN Combs is mining his heartbreak for artistic purposes. Having been dumped by the mother of three of his children, Combs has cut a song titled "Through the Pain . . . a k a Kim Porter," and a video that debuted Thursday on "106 & Park" on BET. Hip-hop Web site Sohh.com reports Combs created the music video as a response to Porter’s appearance on CNN discussing their breakup. "This is how he’s coming back," the site says. "Basically it’s like, ‘You’re putting me through hell.’

Is he kidding? So much for symbolism and mystery.

This is the musical equivalent of those badly written tragedy books the publishers churn out to quickly profit from the 24-hour-news culture. Or those Law & Order episodes, ripped from the headlines.

If he’s going to milk this for sympathy and dollars, he’d appeal to more of the public by being more honest with his obvious song titles.

Kim Porter, I Know I Did(died) You Wrong, But Damn Girl That Sienna is Hot!

(My Baby Mama Just Had Twins) Meet Me Out for Some Cristal

Or, he could rip off…er…."sample" Lionel Richie and sing something like Once, Twice, Three Times, My Babies…But I’ll Never Marry You

Kim Porter decided to leave Diddy for good and she is stating the reasons why.

Porter releases this statement Wednesday on The Insider, “After ten years, I have decided to end my on again/off again relationship with Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs.”

“In ending this relationship, I made a decision that was in the best interest of myself, Sean and our family. She also added, “I look forward to moving on with my life and my career, and wish him prosperity, health and happiness in life and in love. We will remain friends and committed parents to our children.”

The two has been an off/on couple since the 90s and during during their relationship had a son named Trey and twin daughters D’Lila Star and Jessie James born in December.

After all these years, Kim finally got some self-respect and dignity to leave a man that couldn’t stay committed. Good for her.