Jessica Simpson always seems to have her mouth open. Sometimes she uses it to talk about her boobs, or to deliver dumb blond lines in even dumber movies, but most of the time her mouth is just open all the time. There might be a scientific explanation. When you stroke something beside a baby’s mouth a reflex kicks in and their mouth opens expecting a nipple so they can eat. Apparently Jessica’s feeding reflex is on overdrive. She’s been dating a lot of guys lately, so it’s possible she has a cramp that’s preventing her mouth from closing.

Victoria Beckham’s reality show may have done very poorly, if you call 4 million viewers poor, but she has other skills. Victoria was interviewed on The Morning Mix with Tony Zazza where she revealed that she can juggle balls, and does a crazy impression of Donald Duck. Click here to listen to it.

My Donald Duck impression has gotten me out of a lot of speeding tickets, and ladies love it in the bedroom.

Lily Allen vacationed on Thailand’s third largest island Koh Samui, and the paparazzi used x-ray cameras to catch her going topless. I’m not sure how many times she’s showed her boobs now. Let’s hope the general public doesn’t get their hands on these x-ray cameras, because the malls are crowded enough without a bunch of weird guys hanging out at the mall masturbating while they look through their cameras. On closer inspection with my magnifying glass I’d have to say muppets have bigger boobs than Lily’s. Lily used to brag about how she regularly sucked guys off in high school, so we all know her breath isn’t exactly minty fresh. She’s so skanky, British, and cute. I think I’m in luuuuv. Click below to see the NSFW picture. The water is cover up her third nipple just below her left breast. Click here to see it.