Britney Spears went for the classy look on her first day of being single. She’s now wearing her boobs on the outside! If she can figure a way to wear her vajayjay on the outside, you know she will! She is THAT determined to show off her naughty bits, despite the fact that the bloom is definitely off that rose.

I’m bringing trashy back, y’all!

Claire Danes was promoting her new movie Stardust on MTV Canada, when oops, Clair’s boob popped out. The whole nip slip looked planned. Claire leaned way over, knowing she wasn’t wearing a bra, and then gave everyone a big smile. Well, her boob didn’t look that great. I could tape a rubber nipple onto a basketball and it would look better. In fact, if I gained another 20 pounds, my man boobs would look sexier. Click the thumb nail below to see the NSFW pic.

Lindsay Lohan just turned herself in to be arrested and booked on Friday for a Beverly Hills DUI and reports that cocaine was found in her blood taken at the hospital after running her car into a tree. With all the money she just paid to bail herself out twice, she could have hired a secret service driver for a year. This second DUI they actually found the cocaine on Lohan, plus got her alcohol blood level. Nice work, now if only the courts can put her behind bars before she speeds through a school zone at 100 mph. Matt Lauer will probably interview the officer that got to physically search Lohan, so he can tells us if her boobs felt real or not.

The DUI Lohan was charged with a misdemeanor, but this time she is charged with a FELONY. Lohan is cancelling all public appearances including her Tonight Show with Jay Leno tonight, and her movie premiere tomorrow.

Did anyone doubt that the alcohol monitoring bracelet was a scam?

Lohan was in rehab twice already. That was a lot of help. Money well spent.

I wonder who or what is going to get the blame for this:

Asthma
Depression
Parental Abuse
Sibling Rivalry
Sexual Abuse as a Child
The Media
The Papparazzi
The Catholic Church
My dead dog Bennie
Schizophrenia or Bi-Polar Disorder

Because you know there is no accountability and everyone but HER is to blame.

Cocaine is a helluva drug.

Naomi Watts is either really really pregnant or faking it. I wonder what it feels to be pregnant with a beach ball? Aren’t a pregnant woman’s boobs supposed to get bigger rather than flatter? This is what happens when you try to hide things. I once tried to hide the crayons from my brother by eating them. When I took a dump my mother thought it was a sign from God that I was an artist after she saw the rainbow colored log in the toilet.

Kim Kardashian is the smartest whore in hollywood. First she does a home porn movie with Ray J, get’s paid $5 million because the tape was released without her permission plus Vivid Entertainment agreed to stop distributing it. The movie was lame, and I fell asleep a couple of times so no loss. Now Kim has posed for Playboy magazine, with Hype Williams taking the pictures. No word yet on how much she got paid. Check back cause we’ll have the pictures as soon as they are out.

That Kim is smart. She’s like the hooker that spikes your drink so you’ll fall asleep before the action starts, then steals all the money and credit cards out of your wallet as she leaves.

Then there’s this little gem:

The fallout from the release of the sex tape has touched home in ways that Kardashian couldn’t possibly imagine. According to Kim, having to explain the situation to her nine and eleven year-old stepsisters was one of the most difficult things that she’s ever done.

“One day my sisters were watching TV and a picture of my face flashed across the screen with the words ‘Sex Tape?’ underneath. I was devastated. These girls look up to me and want to copy everything I do,” Contactmusic quoted Kardashian, as saying.

“It was the hardest conversation I’ve ever had… Kylie admitted, ‘Some kids at school said you were a porn star.’ How do you respond to something like that?” she said.

What Kim is really trying to say is that she’s not a whore or a porn star, she’s a performance artist.