Jessica Simpson was impressed by a thespian technique passed along to her by Willie Nelson when they were filming The Dukes of Hazzard.

She reportedly told Harper’s Bazaar:

"Willie Nelson taught me an amazing thing. He memorizes his lines by writing them as a song, and they become a melody to him."…

"In my music career, there have been moments of failure, and with acting, I haven’t had that yet. But music is opening up my heart and every emotion inside of me."

That sounds like great advice! When we think "skilled actor," we think "Willie Nelson."

Of course, the trick would be more helpful if Jess was smart enough to remember lyrics.

Sit tight, Princess. If you didn’t think Employee of the Month was a moment of failure as an actress, you’ve got a big ol’ acting bomb coming down the pike in Blonde Ambition. Congrats!

We’d been sitting on the rampant Jessica Simpson dating rumors this week. They just didn’t smell right.

If one believes all the stories showing up in newspapers and online, she’s a busy little thing. Maybe that 5 Factor Diet gives her extra energy, in addition to leaving her super cut and steely.

This week alone we’ve got stories swirling that Dane Cook and Jess were seen canoodling at the Prince concert at the Hollywood Roosevelt.

Later, reports surfaced that at that same purple concert, she was seen romantically accompanied trainer to the stars Harley Pasternak, who is responsible for the fitness program cited for Simpson’s rapid physical transformation.

Now…the buzz about Jake Gyllenhaal and Jess having mutual crushes on each other is building to a crescendo with reports that they’re already in love, and that she visited him at the Beverly Wilshire a couple weeks ago.

Next thing you know there will be pregnancy claims or pending adoptions. Whatever it takes to divert our attention from the stench coming from Simpson’s rotting movie, Bombed…oops… Blonde Ambition.

What we actually smell is a rat.

A publicity-hound rat.

Around here, we call that spotlight-seeking rodent Papa Joe.

Wonder what’s next. A surprise reunion with John Mayer. How about tales of a threesome with Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo?

The first story that ever came out about the Jessica Simpson movie "Blonde Ambition," produced by her dad Joe, was when she said on the Jimmy Kimmel Show that she was making it with Luke Wilson co-starring. This was all exciting news for Luke Wilson, because he had never heard of it before that moment. Somehow they did eventually get Wilson to lower himself to this, but the movie continued to be a compete and total failure in every way nonetheless. And now it’s been announced the movie will miss its second release date and get pushed back until late August. Gatecrasher says:

Sources say her manager dad has pushed back the release date twice because the movie is no good.

"First, the release date was set for Aug. 3, and then it was delayed until the last week of August," says an insider. "Papa Joe then intervened and said he wasn’t comfortable with the level of competition from other films that month."

Another source says: "Jessica was not very focused on-set and flubbed her lines often. She always had her dog around, was on the phone with [then-] boyfriend John Mayer or was sitting in a warmed-up SUV."

The source said the film, which is still incomplete, is currently without a firm release date.

You mean a film starring Jessica Simpson is no good? Shocking! If Joe Simpson is worried about other movies being better then there’s no way this thing is ever going to be released. It’s a damn remake of Working Girl. A training video for Burger King would be more engaging. Don’t believe me? Watch the trailer, and then weep for everybody involved in this project.

Sure, the color is nice, but this full-length, shiny, blue polka-dot dress looks out of place in the afternoon light.

Jessica Simpson was out and about with hairdresser Ken Paves, so we’ll assume she was in for a really fabulous evening to take her mind off things.

See, Papa Joe has pushed back the release of Simpson’s movie "Blonde Ambition"…again.

Rumors are swirling that it’s being delayed because it’s tres terrible.

Of course, the delay of the box-office stinker doesn’t explain her covering her belly with that garish handbag. Isn’t Simpson supposedly in the best shape of her life?

Honey, if you feel like you need to cover your stomach after everything you’ve been doing, the problem isn’t your bod.

It’s the shiny, unflattering dress. Ditch it!

Ditto for the not-so-shiny, unflattering films.