Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead Is “Breathtaking”

The upcoming issue of Us Weekly will feature Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead as she approaches her first birthday. Us Magazine has noted the resemblance between Dannielynn and her mother.

Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead may not have many memories of Anna Nicole Smith, but as she nears her first birthday, it appears that just looking in the mirror will be a lifelong reminder of her mom.

Family friend Tricia Barnstable Brown tells , "I think she’s really starting to look like her mom. She has those pouty lips like Anna — she’s breathtaking." Aunt Judy Birkhead adds, "She has Anna’a smile and Larry’s eyes. She also has her laugh, and her personality is fun like Anna’s."

Anyone who has watched "Seinfeld" knows that "breathtaking" is a polite way of saying that the baby bears a striking resemblance to a catcher’s mit.

That big personality that Dannielynn got from her mom has already helped her win friends. Dad Larry Birkhead tells Us "When I took her out for her first big dinner, she looked around at the table and grabbed this big Alaskan crab leg off my plate and started swinging it around, making all these crazy noises. Everyone in the restaurant was laughing."

Sure, they’re laughing now, but when Dannielynn is still spinning crab legs in her thirties, it won’t be quite so cute. With Anna Nicole as a mother, you could probably open up her head and find a chick pea where a brain should be.

Hayden Panettiere Registers to Vote - Gets Groped

Hayden Panettiere just turned 18. She registered to vote, and she’s holding proof, but has she registered for the draft? If I got stuck in the military, and they put me in charge of drafting people, I’d draft all the hottest chicks in the U.S. Then it would be great to be in the military. I’d even oil those girls up, and put them on the front line of the war zone in string bikinis to oil wrestle in front of the enemy. What man in his right mind would even think about hurting a hot girl? Any war we’d fight would be over before it starts without firing a shot. The other country would probably beg to become a U.S. allie too. Gosh, I’m all sweaty now. I digress when talking about the power beautiful women have over ordinary men.

Anyway, after her 18th birthday party Hayden hit the old folks home, or mummy exhibit, not sure which. This old guy (Norman Lear) did what any old guy would do in his situation, he groped, grabbed, and got a piece of Hayden. What are they gonna do to him, throw him in jail? He’s in a nursing home, he’s in hell already, jail would be a nice vacation. This guy’s my hero, and Hayden, she just became a national treasure. I’m saluting her right now.

Hayden Panettiere Will Celebrate Birthday In a Very Non-LiLo Kind of Way

All you creepy guys just waiting until Hayden Panettiere turns 18 to use those bikini pics as your screensaver only have a few short weeks to wait. She becomes "of age" on August 21st and, according to 24/Sizzler, she won’t be celebrating a la Britney or LiLo, but rather by registering to vote! According to the site, Panettiere has signed on to become a spokesperson for ‘Declare Yourself,’ "a non-partisan group that’s enlisted celebs to help boost voter registration among new voters." Yawn! No one is this innocent. We give her five years until some guy finds her in a cheerleader uniform in his backyard, rocking back and forth, reeking of cheap booze and mumbling something about saving the world.

Gisele Bundchen, Tom Brady relationship falling apart

Gisele Bundchen might sing another tune on her birthday today since the relationship with her football player boyfriend, Tom Brady has hit its all time low.

According to the New York Post, Bunchen reportedly is upset over the quarterback’s ex-lover Bridget Moynahan giving birth to Brady’s child on the same day as the Brazilian supermodel 27th birthday. The tension over the matter raised high to the point where the couple argued in the public recently.

Despite this ironic situation, Bundchen say that she has no problem with her man fathering Moynahan’s child and will be delighted to be a stepmom to Brady’s unborn baby.

She said, “If you love someone, you love everything that comes with him. I find it easy to understand,” she said.

So Giselle, you were basically fussing about nothing?

Courtney Love, Tranny Style

TMZ posted this photo of Courtney Love, after just having received a lovely bouquet on her 43rd birthday. But we ask you–does she remind you of anyone else? It’s a man, baby!