I don’t know if being a whore is a requirement to be a celebrity, but it sure seems to help. I’m not even sure what Sienna Miller is famous for, except maybe sleeping with Sean Combs (Diddy). Sienna was flashing her boobs on the beach in Ibiza, Spain, and they look good. This brings me to a personal thought about genetic disabilities. Scientists are hoping that they may be able to cure some disease by turning some bad genes off, but other genes may be activated in the process. I wouldn’t mind if girls like Sienna were cured of a horrible disease, and in the process became genetically disabled so they could not stop themselves from walking around topless everywhere. Click the images above to see the NSFW pictures.

Hayden Panettiere running around in a bikini on a beach may not seem like news, but she’s a hot 17 years-old cheerleader from Heroes, and there are a lot of men out there waiting for her to turn 18 so they can slap her around with their hairy beer guts. I didn’t put all the pictures up but I can summarize them:

Photos 1-2: HP leaves trailer and is happy to see she’s famous as is indicated by the paparazzi (even if it is only one old creepy looking guy).

Photos 3-4: HP starts wondering why the paparazzi guy is wearing a raincoat and why he’s holding the camera with one hand.

Photos 5-7: HP calls her agent about the paparazzi guy, "yeah, he’s really starting to creep me out.."

Photos 8-9: HP tries to ignore paparazzi guy

Photos 10-13: HP is told that she should be able to see the police car any second now

Photos 14-18: "FOR GOD’S SAKE, GET OUT OF THERE!!!!"

{sigh} Reminds me of my first date…

We can only tell that this is Lindsay Lohan and not Dina Lohan because we’ve seen other pictures of her in this dress. Which reminds us that we need to make a note, if you’re going to parade all over town, showing off the newest in scofflaw monitoring, you might want to think about shoes compatible with your anklet.

Is anyone else concerned about Firecrotch’s premature aging? She could easily pass for 35 and the "Coca-Cola" isn’t helping. You don’t really believe it’s just soda in that can, do you?

We know that the ankle bracelet is an alcohol-sensor thingee. But, c’mon, that thing is completely voluntary — a ploy conjured up to reassure the public and potential employers that Lindsay’s appearances at parties and whirlwind jaunts to Las Vegas in no way indicate that she isn’t serious about her sobriety.

She’s serious, see! She’s wearing an ankle bracelet!

Oh…you want to see the reports? Er…