Puff Diddy. Dim Witty. Whatever his name is. If his "good friend" Sienna Miller can’t keep it straight, why should we be expected to stay informed?

The rapper/producer/designer/entrepreneur/baby daddy formerly known as Sean "Puffy" Combs has recorded a new song because he is suffering. According to Page Six:

SEAN Combs is mining his heartbreak for artistic purposes. Having been dumped by the mother of three of his children, Combs has cut a song titled "Through the Pain . . . a k a Kim Porter," and a video that debuted Thursday on "106 & Park" on BET. Hip-hop Web site Sohh.com reports Combs created the music video as a response to Porter’s appearance on CNN discussing their breakup. "This is how he’s coming back," the site says. "Basically it’s like, ‘You’re putting me through hell.’

Is he kidding? So much for symbolism and mystery.

This is the musical equivalent of those badly written tragedy books the publishers churn out to quickly profit from the 24-hour-news culture. Or those Law & Order episodes, ripped from the headlines.

If he’s going to milk this for sympathy and dollars, he’d appeal to more of the public by being more honest with his obvious song titles.

Kim Porter, I Know I Did(died) You Wrong, But Damn Girl That Sienna is Hot!

(My Baby Mama Just Had Twins) Meet Me Out for Some Cristal

Or, he could rip off…er…."sample" Lionel Richie and sing something like Once, Twice, Three Times, My Babies…But I’ll Never Marry You

Sienna Miller just came out denying anything more than friendship with Sean Combs. According to Rush & Malloy:

"I am in love with someone, but not Puff Daddy," she told ZeeNews.com. "He’s just a good friend. Anyway, he has a beautiful girlfriend."

They can’t be very "good friends" if she doesn’t use his name du jour.

Just in time, Diddy has released an official statement confirming the break-up with his Baby Mama.

Wonder if that dilutes Sienna’s statement. Will she rush to his side now that he’s actually single? Or will that make Puffy less interesting to her?

The AP has a good one this Friday morning. It’s a tale of an innocent, altruistic college student whose new cell phone has Paris Hilton’s old cell phone number.

As one might expect, dead-of-night hilarity has ensued.

For months, Shira Barlow’s cell phone was flooded with wrong-number calls and text messages, mostly between 2 and 4 a.m. on weekends. Told they had reached a college student, callers refused to believe it.

"Baby girl, how are you?" one man purred in a foreign accent. "Why are you doing this?" a woman asked. "This is so rude." And there were several seemingly random references to "Paris."

Besides the expected where’s-the-party calls, Hilton’s old phone number has been the destination of supportive messages.

Then came the day Hilton was sentenced to jail after violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case. Messages about parties were replaced by dozens expressing condolences.

"People were scared for her," Barlow said.

The phone traffic trailed off when Hilton entered jail last month. But when Hilton was released, a new crop of messages flooded in.

"It’s disgusting how they treated you in there, but once again you have showed the world that you can do anything," one wrote.

Barlow said she has resisted the temptation to pose as Hilton to get into exclusive parties. But she did message supporters "thanks so much," believing Hilton would appreciate it.

It’s situations like this that unlimited-text-message plans were born for. What a nice girl that Barlow, sending messages of gratefulness on Hilton’s behalf.

The new-and-improved post-jail Paris would likely return the favor if the tables were turned.

You! Stop the snickering.

Read more…

Congratulations are in order. Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman have a bambino on the way.

E! is reporting it as fact, today, and the Internets are abuzz with purported confirmations from the pop singer’s estranged papa.

Xtina is still touring the Far East and fans have noted that she’s taken to wearing a heart-rate monitor on her wrist. Seems she may have been keeping tabs on her exertion out of concern for her tiny tummy tot.

Guess July 3rd is pregnancy-confirmation day. Any others ready to make any joyous announcements? Demi? Britney? Jessica Simpson?

With regards to Nicole Richie, the question of is she or isn’t she has apparently been answered, and the answer is SHE IS! TMZ just broke the news:

The starlet has been dating Good Charlotte frontman Joel Madden for over six months. Rumors have been swirling for months that Richie and Madden were expecting, but TMZ has confirmed through several sources that she is, in fact, with child. In Touch magazine is also reporting that the couple will wed this summer.

Won’t it be so darling to have Nicole and Lionel do the father/daughter dance to one of his songs? There isn’t a more fitting one than his classic "Easy."

Richie is currently facing DUI charges stemming from her arrest last December, when she was found driving the wrong way on a California highway. Richie’s trial is set for July 11. If convicted, she faces a minimum of five days in jail.

I wonder if the prison meal program accommodates those who are eating for two, although in Nicole’s case, she’s really only eating for 1.5 (She is the ".5"). If she really can’t handle it, she can string a bunch of baby booties together and escape.