Lance Armstrong says, despite his daughter taking Ashley Olsen to show and tell the other day, “Ashley Olsen and I are strictly friends. We have hung out amongst other friends, and she strikes me as a nice, smart lady.”

Sheryl Crow was reportedly unhappy about Lance and Ashley dating. She said on her blog, “Lance and I are friends. I have a lot of respect for him and what he does in the world of cancer. What he does in his personal life … is none of my business. Nor would I ever comment on it.”

The age difference alone between Lance and Ashley makes it unlikely they would ever seriously date. Sleep together maybe, but nothing more than that.

Lance Armstrong’s daughter brought his new girlfriend Ashley Olsen to school for show and tell. These two are really getting serious. Imagine if they got married, and Lance’s daughter and Ashley could share the same clothes like sisters. Radar reports:

One of the part-eunuch biker’s young daughters (he has twins) had the honor of taking a more realistic (though slightly less boobtastic) Barbie to her class for observation. Yes, daddy’s lady love Ashley Olsen was recently shown and told about at the young girl’s Texas school. "Celebrities do this all the time," the source said.

Those writers at Radar really focus on the important aspects of a story like testicles and breasts. I wonder if they realize Lance had, and beat, testicular cancer. I’ll bet once they find out they’ll feel guilty they called Lance a "part-eunuch biker." Lance is not a biker, he’s a bicyclist. Gees.

Not so long ago Lance Armstrong (36) and designer Tory Burch brokeup. On Monday night Lance is reported to have been at Rose Bar in NYC with Ashley Olsen (21), and the two are said to have been making out all night. Page Six reports:

"They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m." Armstrong has been spending more time in town since he bought a home here. Another source said, "He tried to make Tory happy when they were dating by buying a place here, but she couldn’t deal with him not actually living in the same city, so they broke up."

One girls trash is a trashier girl’s treasure.

The New York Daily News reports that the girls had extra security measures in place at their birthday bash.

The Olsen twins demanded that guests check cell phones and BlackBerrys at the door at their 21st-birthday party Friday, lest any illicit pictures get out and ruin their six-figure asking price for photos.

As if these two aren’t already making millions for their likenesses and the endless array of Olsen Twin products.

Now their own friends can’t memorialize that time they held back the hair of both twins as their celebratory woo-woo shots came back up?

This is a slippery slope. What’s in store for Mary-Kate and Ashley’s future partying pals?

Confidentiality agreements? Blindfolds? Memory-loss drugs?

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen turned 21 yesterday, reminding us all that we’re getting very, very old. These two former child stars have gone from annoyingly cute infants to troubled teens before our eyes over the years.

Maybe opting to stay out of trouble, the girls decided to celebrate their big b-day at a small party with family and close friends. They even spent most of the day taking a break from being celebrities:

"Today, for the first time in a looooong time, we’re taking a day off – doing absolutely nothing and looking forward to every second of it!"

Happy birthday, Olsens. It’s all downhill from here.