That title is a little deceiving, Anna Kournikova was in a bikini, not Enrique Iglesias, but the gays probably love him more now that I put that fantasy in their heads. You’re welcome. Enrique is rumored to have an itty bitty teenie weenie, but apparently he’s just oozing with romance. Why else would a hottie like Anna stick around? I used to help people quit smoking, which is how I met many of my girlfriends. Boating looks like a safe activity, but I don’t take my girlfriends anyplace where there is toe tapping, clapping, or finger snapping. Why? I might lose them. You see, to keep my girlfriends under my spell, I use a combination of charm and hypnotism.

Enrique Iglesias can’t make up his mind. 

He’s either seeking a procedure to augment his private assets, or he scares poor Anna Kournikova each time he drops his drawers.

Now Magazine reports that Iglesias calls previous stories of his diminutive zipper snake the result of a misunderstanding.

‘I meant I needed a penis reduction, not an enlargement!’ he insists. ‘The people who wrote I had a small willy misunderstood.’

Enrique, who says he was nicknamed tripod at school because of his impressive manhood, will keep confusing the issue, though.

Really Enrique?  Because it would be much more convincing if Anna, your wife-no-we’re-not-married-oh-we-were-married-but-we-split-I’m-just-keedeeeng, were to start spreading anguished rumors about your third leg.  

And, what about those "friends from school" who bestowed upon you this mammoth moniker? What’s the matter?  Have you paid them to keep silent about your breathtaking manhood?

We’re not sure what to believe, but can you be more specific?  How big are we talking?  Depending on the answer, we may barely care, but wanted an excuse to publish all the fun nicknames and the pic of you in the tight pants.

If the new story is true, you’re with me, leather.

Enrique Iglesias sparked a slew of breakup rumors when he told Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet that he and Anna Kournikova had been secretly married, and were now divorced.

"We’re divorced. I am single now, but that’s okay," he told the newspaper. "I don’t mind being alone."

A Kournikova pal says that Iglesias was only joking, and his rep adds that, after five years, "They are still together."

However, Iglesias was apparently not joking about his small penis.

Disappointing fans everywhere, and his girlfriend Russian tennis star Anna Kournikova (25), Enrique Iglesias (32) said when asked what one thing he would change about his body, “I’d change my penis if I could. It’s way, way, way too small.”

Ann said, “it wouldn’t make a difference.”

What?! Why? Is he that bad in bed?! (source)

Pictures of Anna Kournikova looking rather underweight at the 17th Annual Chris Evert/Raymond James Pro-Celebrity Tennis Classic in Florida.