Paris Hilton took Alex Vaggo to meet her parents, and they all had dinner together at Madeo’s. After dinner Paris and Alex stayed overnight at the Rossevelt hotel. Why not a Hilton hotel? The Hilton’s sold their Hilton hotel empire for $$$ billions. Paris was just on Ellen talking about how she wants to have a baby, but no one will knock her up. Does Paris realize babies are not just for her to get attention, but they also need attention? Maybe she should get one of those robot dogs that die if you don’t feed and water it, so she can learn responsibility first.

Paris Hilton is here with Alex Vaggo. He is a Swedish tourist she met at a cheap hotel, and now Paris is offering him modeling jobs and stuff. He’s a tough nut to crack, and he’s probably too smart to be a model. Anyone who refuses to sleep with Paris has obviously overcome his natural animal instinct. Sure I love tuna just as much as the next straight guy, but not when it smells like its been sitting in the sun for a week. For Christmas I’m getting Paris some knee pads. Her knees have seen more action than a whole team of professional athletes.