An enraged Alec Baldwin unleashed a volcanic tirade of threats and insults on his 11-year-old daughter, Ireland, calling her a "thoughtless little pig," and bashing her mother Kim Bassinger.

After Ireland failed to answer her father’s scheduled morning phone call from New York on April 11, Alec went berserk on her voice mail, saying "Once again, I have made an a__ of myself trying to get to a phone," adding, "you have insulted me for the last time."

Switching his train of thought, Baldwin then exercised his incredible parenting skills and took a shot at his ex-wife, declaring, "I don’t give a damn that you’re 12-years-old or 11-years-old, or a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn’t care about what you do." The irate Baldwin went on to say, "You’ve make me feel like s**t" and threatened to "straighten your a__ out."

"This crap you pull on me with this goddamn phone situation that you would never dream of doing to your mother," screamed Baldwin, "and you do it to me constantly over and over again."

Before hanging up, Baldwin warned the child, "You better be ready Friday the 20th to meet with me." That’s tomorrow. (Source)

Click here to listen to the whole unfiltered rant.

Alec Baldwin is available. Baldwin, 48, having broken up again with luscious Nicole Seidel, has asked Glamour to help him get dates. "I would love to marry. I want to be in love again," he tells the mag’s Carole Radziwill, who’s soliciting e-mails from interested gals to pass along. The "30 Rock" star, who’s divorced from Kim Basinger, also reveals he may try his hand at online dating: "I’m thinking about it. I could post my picture and say, ’People tell me I look like Alec Baldwin.’ They’ll go, ’Oh, I hate him,’ or ’Who the hell is he?’ "

Ashley Olsen is back on the market. Spies say the 20-year-old waif and her boyfriend, Tsubi jeans czar Greg Chait, 27, have split after an 18-month relationship. The reason: He wouldn’t commit. "When they were together over the holidays, she told him she was looking for something more permanent. He wasn’t ready for that," a source close to Chait told us. "So they decided on an amicable parting." A rep for Olsen, who made a fortune with sister Mary-Kate when they were child actresses, had no comment.

Maybe Alec and Ashley should date each other. Actually, the only thing they have in common is that their first names start with the letter "A." Is that enough for marriage and children?

Kim Basinger may face sixty days in jail and a $12,000 fine when she makes an appearance in court tomorrow on twelve contempt of court charges. Basinger is accused of breaching a custody agreement she shares with ex-husband Alec Baldwin, who claims the LA Confidential actress failed to notify him when she was out of town and also failed to inform him when their daughter Ireland suffered an injury and required medical attention. Baldwin alleges the actress has a "pathological need" to keep Ireland away from her father, and that "her resentments are more precious to her than the emotional well-being of her child."

Courts don’t care if a child ever sees his/her father. Odds are Basinger will get a slap on the wrist, and like last time, the court will probably just grant Alec an extra three days of time with his daughter, but as before, Basinger will just prevent Alec from seeing his daughter. The courts are so anti-fathers it makes me want to puke.

Alec Baldwin tried to talk his way past the NYPD who had closed off the scene of the Cory Lidle plane crash. What makes him think he’s more important than everyone else?

Tina Fey sabotaged SNL with lame jokes when she discovered she was going to land her own show. Now Tina Fey’s show 30 Rock is on the air, but guess what?, Fey forgot to bring her good jokes with her. 30 Rock is written by Tina Fey, and the entire show is available for viewing online even before it airs. I watched the whole show. It’s like an excruciatingly boring and lame episode of Saturday Night Live that lasts for nearly a half hour. After watching the entire show, I had to go take a walk, then a dump, and drink two cups of green tea to purge the nastiness out of my system.

What is good in the show is Alec Baldwin, and a few other notable stars’ acting ability. Despite extremely poorly written material by Tina Fey, most of the actors did a good job. Before 30 Rock gets canceled I would suggest firing the crappy writer of the show, Tina Fey, and hiring a team of writers that can write a good story, and make it funny.