It never happened. That’s what Bruce Willis has to say about those rumors that he and Lindsay Lohan had a short-lived "thing."

In an interview with the Mirror, Willis concedes that he has a rakish image and that his denials of hanky-panky with Firecrotch will fall on deaf ears.

“Here’s what you have to know,” he says with a hint of exasperation. “I don’t pay attention to the gossip anymore. I don’t look at it or let it in my house. We could go down to a newsstand right now and find five stupid things that are written about me, but I just don’t care.

“I stopped fighting it when I was a young kid and I was trying to find my way, just flailing wildly, figuring out how to handle fame. Setting the record straight… I couldn’t care less. Because no matter how many times I tell you I had nothing to do with Lindsay Lohan and never laid a finger on her – she just hung out with my younger daughter Tallulah for a minute – it’s still gonna be set in stone. It’s out of my control.”

Bruce, we believe you. Really.

In the time that has passed since those rumors were hot, we’ve learned that Lindsay was raised by a liar, that she has delusions of influential connections to an ex-Vice President, and that she can’t spell the word adequate.

Her alleged claims - and then public denials - that the two of you were hitting it off seem less convincing now than ever.

We’re just glad that rehab has reduced said Lohan hook-up claims. We’re bracing for the new wave of Lindsay-finds-love stories we’ll soon have to post.

And it makes our fingers cry.

Madonna is not one to run from controversy. She’s been busy over the past year adding a new African baby to compliment her LV bag, lecturing people on proper adoption, and now she’s performing at a high profile environmental concert to elevate her own profile. Here’s more:

Madonna, who seems to be on top of all her many business endeavors, has actually invested about $2.7 million dollars in companies that are creating the destruction that Live Earth is trying to raise awareness about. She has invested in several companies named as the biggest corporate polluters in the world.

The companies include Alcoa, Ingersoll Rand, Weyerhaeuser, and several others associated with oil exploration, digging, and refining including Ford Motors, BP, Schlumberger (a chief competitor of Halliburton), Devon Energy, Peabody Energy, Emerson Electric, Kimberly Clark and Weatherford International.

In 2002, the University of Massachusetts’ Political Research Institute ranked Alcoa No. 9 on a list of all-time toxic American companies.

So many celebrities talk about the environment, or other causes, and yet they don’t practice what they preach. Al Gore may be the champion of environmental causes yet he rides in private jets, and one of his many houses uses 20 times more energy than other houses the same size. If Al Gore can still win a award for his political message, and personally get rich from it despite his personal hypocrisy, then Madonna deserves a pass. The bottom line is, even celebrities know idealistic causes are not always realistic. Madonna probably does do some things to protect the environment like using only one toilet paper square to wipe when she takes a crap.

Al Gore III has been in trouble many times before. Is this a bad parenting issue?

- In 1996, he was suspended from his high school for smoking marijuana.
- In August 2000, he was ticketed for reckless driving by North Carolina police for driving 94 mph.
- In September 2002, military police arrested him on suspicion of drunk driving near a military base in Virginia.
- In 2003, he was charged with marijuana possession in Maryland after police stopped the car he was driving for not having its headlights on.
- In February 2004, he entered a substance abuse program as part of a plea agreement.

Here’s more:

Al Gore’s son was pulled over for speeding on a California freeway early Wednesday and arrested on suspicion of possessing marijuana and prescription drugs, authorities said.

Al Gore III, 24, was driving a blue Toyota Prius about 100 mph south on the San Diego Freeway when he was pulled over by sheriff’s deputies who said they smelled marijuana, said Sheriff’s Department spokesman Jim Amormino.

The deputies searched the car and found less than an ounce of marijuana along with Xanax, Valium, Vicodin, and Adderall, which is used for attention deficit disorder, Amormino said.

"He does not have a prescription for any of those drugs," Amormino said.

Gore was being held in the men’s central jail in Santa Ana on $20,000 bail.