Agent Provocateur has created a new video called Love Me Tender … Or Else, which is a friendly reminder not to forget Valentine’s Day.

According to Holymoly, Lily Allen will in fact NOT be the new face of Agent Provocateur as was reported by the AP. The picture above is for a Braun ad Lily did, which was obviously heavily Photoshopped. When I look at Lily all I can think of her saying to me is, "Would you like fries with that?"

Lily Allen is the new face for Agent Provocateur. Recently Lily lost half her body weight, but she hasn’t lost her bad attitude. The last face for Agent Provocateur was Maggie Gyllenhaal, who didn’t make Maxim’s top ten ugliest women list, probably because she paid them off. I’m not sure how these Agent people stay in business hiring such lame celebrities. It might have something to do with tax dollars, and goverment subsidies, or maybe that’s farming. Anyway, a source said:

"The owners of Agent Provocateur, Joe Corre and Serena Rees, are delighted. They feel her natural look will appeal to a lot of women. She’s in amazing shape since she lost the weight, and the pictures of her are absolutely incredible."

What else would you expect them to say? If they were telling the truth they’d say Lily is slightly overweight, and shaped like a lumpy potato. She wears a girdle to give her that hour glass figure. Although she has a habit of kicking people, and trying to rip the camera from their hands, she’s actually a nice person once you get to know her.

Maggie Gyllenhaal is the new face of Agent Provocateur lingerie with a lot of help from Photoshop. I suppose the effort here is for Maggie to show women who have just given birth that they too can be glamorous and sexy. Seeing Maggie tied to a chair in lingerie gives me the urge to run for my life. She is the ugliest star in Hollywood. It baffles my mind that they didn’t use her as the Joker’s girlfriend in the new Batman movie. She wouldn’t even need makeup. I would be inclined to compliment her breasts, if she didn’t look like my uncle Ned.

Kate Moss is being dropped by lingerie brand Agent Provocateur and her $1 million contract won’t be renewed when it expires next month. No specific reason was given, though they’re replacing her with a fresh face to represent their brand. What took them so long? Kate has been looking haggard for so long. Without tons of make-up and photoshopping her pictures, Kate looks a lot like a werewolf. I don’t know who I feel more sorry for, Pete who has to shave Kate’s back, or Kate who has to squeegee the grease off Pete’s back.