This just in: Britney Spears may not be stable. Okay, putting all sarcasm aside (or at least some sarcasm), the troubled pop princess has reportedly upped the crazy bar once again.

Stories are swirling around about Britney’s manic behavior on the set of her recent OK! Magazine photo shoot. Rumor has it little miss Spears was acting extremely paranoid, taking a suspicious number of bathroom breaks, and used Chanel and Gucci dresses to wipe up such lovely messes as her greasy hands from the fried chicken she insisted on ordering, and…get this…her dog’s mess on the floor. Now, that’s some good crazy.

Sadly, OK! is claiming they can’t release the photos because they are so unflattering. But don’t worry, someone will undoubtedly release them on the ‘net.

What does this mean for Britney’s career? Absolutely nothing. The nice thing about never having had any kind of tangible credibility is that you don’t have anything to lose. Brit can just do what she wants and let the chips fall where they may. What a country!

Jessica Simpson was impressed by a thespian technique passed along to her by Willie Nelson when they were filming The Dukes of Hazzard.

She reportedly told Harper’s Bazaar:

"Willie Nelson taught me an amazing thing. He memorizes his lines by writing them as a song, and they become a melody to him."…

"In my music career, there have been moments of failure, and with acting, I haven’t had that yet. But music is opening up my heart and every emotion inside of me."

That sounds like great advice! When we think "skilled actor," we think "Willie Nelson."

Of course, the trick would be more helpful if Jess was smart enough to remember lyrics.

Sit tight, Princess. If you didn’t think Employee of the Month was a moment of failure as an actress, you’ve got a big ol’ acting bomb coming down the pike in Blonde Ambition. Congrats!

We kinda believed the many Jessica Simpson-is-dating-X-celeb stories were publicity stunts cooked up by Papa Joe to divert attention from her soon-to-be box-office bomb.

There were inklings that the romance rumors rearing up could be a reaction to the Nick Lachey, Vanessa Minnillo soft-core snaps that were making headlines.

But…now there is a picture. Sure, it’s not ironclad proof of the reported canoodling at the Prince show, but it’s interesting. More interesting than Dane Cook’s "comedy" and definitely more interesting than Jess’s "acting" or even her attempts at "singing."

How did we not know about this?

Oh yeah, because we stopped paying attention after Mariah Carey morphed into a cartoon of herself. Blaming the failure of Glitter on September 11th. Getting spray-on tans made of real gold. Posing in evening gowns with homeless guys.

That Mariah is making another movie and, frankly, we’re shocked that we weren’t aware of this celluloid threat looming on the horizon before it reached post-production. Guess it’s too late now to gather the villagers and pitchforks.

Her character’s name in this one? Krystal. That’s right! With a "K."

Mariah making movies is like every fantasy role-playing game we played as bored and precocious 8-year-olds, except nobody filmed it, we didn’t have that "aspiring-stripper" bent, and we had to be home before the streetlights came on.

But, wait! Page Six says that early reviews are good.

Word from the set is she’s "really, really good" in it – "It might be the cinema equivalent to the Red Sox winning the World Series," we’re told.

Nice try, anonymous producer-type who stands to make at least a little money if we’re dumb enough to fork over $8 opening weekend.

Now our dander is up. We know the Red Sox, Ms. Carey, and you’re no Boston Red Sox.

Katie Holmes was witnessed heading into CAA, presumably for a meeting with her agents, and is rumored to be vying for a role in the movie version the musical "Nine."

As in nine-carat ring. Get a load of that honker!

As in nine-year contract.

As in not all pregnancies are nine months long.

This gossip post brought to you by the number nine…and Xenu.

P.S. Love the shoes, Kate. You show those agents who the boss lady is.