Pamela Anderson and Rick Salomon Are Getting Married

Pamela Anderson (40) and Rick Salomon (38) are engaged, just got a marriage license, and may have gotten married already. Both have been married three times, and Rick’s last marriage was annulled. Pam recently announced she slept with Rick to settle a gambling debt. He could have found a hooker off the street who is better looking, and has fewer STDs, plus he’d only have paid about $20 or maybe $40 after factoring inflation. Rick is the guy who made the sex tape with Paris Hilton. Access Hollywood says:

Anderson and Salomon have known each other for 15 years, according to Pam, who noted the fact on her Web site blog, this past Thursday. In another posting –on September 26, Anderson wrote that her life was going well and hinted that romance was on the cards, though she did not claim it was with Salomon. “I’m in love,” she posted. “And my work is fun and creative. I’m healthy . . . I’m having the best time in my life.”

Pam’s friends say she keeps drinking despite having Hepatitis C, and her liver is begging for her to quit punching it like a punching bag. Sounds healthy. On her latest drinking binge she married Kid Rock, and had five weddings, then woke up in her vomit and divorced him. Pam and Rick are a perfect match. She’s got Hepatitis C, and he’s probably got herpes from Paris, so they both bring a disease into the relationship. I drew a diagram to show all the stars with STDs, and connected all the people they slept with, and kept going. When I was done the paper went from white to completely black, which is what your genitals will look like if you sleep with anyone from Hollywood.

Lindsay Lohan May Extend Rehab Stay Again

Reports earlier this week claimed Lindsay Lohan would be released from the Cirque Lodge rehab facility in Utah as soon as this weekend. Dina Lohan contacted Access Hollywood telling them Lindsay will be staying in Utah, for now. It’s hard to know if Dina even knows since she always seems like she’s drunk. When she wakes up she probably has to clear away the beer cans to hit the snooze button. With a mom like Dina there’s little doubt Lindsay will stay clean and sober after her third trip to rehab. Hollywood can hardly wait to get Lindsay back. Every movies she’s made since Herbie Fully Loaded has bombed, and her music isn’t going to get any better with that raspy voice from cigarettes and alcohol. Nothing can stop her now. In the words of the queen of enablers Dina Lohan:

"As far as Lindsay’s health is concerned, she’s fine and she is back on set…. She will win an Academy Award for this picture… Justice!"

Halle Berry Confirms Pregnancy

Halle Berry emailed Nancy O’Dell at Access Hollywood to confirm that Gabriel Aubry knocked her up:

“Yes, I am three months pregnant! Gabriel and I are beyond excited, and I’ve waited a long time for this moment in life. Now the next seven months will be the longest of my life!” she wrote to Nancy. “Can’t wait to see you and give you a squeeze and see a pic of your little sweetie. Until then, you heard it from ME first!”

Wow, a ten month pregnancy. Her math is a little fuzzy. Those hormones must already be kicking in. I can understand her excitement. When I first heard the news Halle was pregnant, I tipped a waiter $100 instead of $10. I thought to myself, what’s an extra zero, it’s not worth anything anyway.

Question: Anyone know why pregnancy is commonly referred to as lasting only 9 months?

Answer: The normal length of pregnancy is 37 to 42 weeks. It is perfectly normal for a baby to be born as many as 3 weeks before the due date or as many as 2 weeks after the due date. The due date is usually estimated at 40 weeks (10 months). A 9 month pregnancy is usually predicted because most births occur during the ninth month.

Owen Wilson Did Not Overdose

An attorney for Owen Wilson tells Access Hollywood that Owen did slit his wrists, but contrary to reports there was no drug overdose and he didn’t get his stomach pumped. The attorney adds that Owen had been taking antidepressants, but he was not aware of any other drugs in his system at the time of the incident. The Santa Monica City Attorney’s office says the 911 tapes will not be released. Here’s more:

“In reaching this decision the City believes that in many instances no person should have to worry about whether placing a call for emergency assistance will automatically make his or her medical request open to public review,” the City Attorney’s office said in a press release late Wednesday. “In balancing the competing interests, the City agencies outweigh the public interest served by disclosure of the emergency 911 call. In situation such as this, the City concludes that the public is best served if medical attention is promptly sought instead of being delayed because of a concern, real or imagined, of public attention, regardless of whether that publicity is sympathetic or not.”

Have you ever dated someone because you were too lazy to commit suicide?

Jamie Foxx Defends Michael Vick

Jamie Foxx has made it clear he’s racist against white folks, and loves today’s black culture that has led to 93% of all blacks in 2005 being murdered by other blacks here in the U.S. In the old B.S. line so prevalent in today’s black leaders and role models, Foxx voiced his support for Michael Vick. Here’s more from Access Hollywood:

"It’s a cultural thing, I think," Jamie said. "Most brothers didn’t know that, you know. I used to see dogs fighting in the neighborhood all the time. I didn’t know that was Fed time. So, Mike probably just didn’t read his handbook on what not to do as a black star." While he has a way of lightening even the most sensitive of subjects, Jamie is sincere in his belief that the quarterback is not being given a fair shake.

"I know that cruelty to animals is bad, but sometimes people shoot people and kill people and don’t get time," Jamie continued. "I think in this situation, he really didn’t know the extent of it, so I always give him the benefit of the doubt."

Foxx is right. Vick is just an innocent victim. His whole dog fighting ring was out in the open, and registered with the national dog fighting association that is endorsed by the NFL, and the gambling commission in Washington D.C. Too bad dog fighting is illegal, and I made all that up. I’m not sure what Fox is getting at when he talks about people killing people and not getting time. I think he means some people should be able to kill people and not have to worry about getting hassled because they had a good reason. Foxx probably has a list of people he wants to kill, but he’s still waiting on his license to kill to come in the mail.

For those blacks that want to make everything into racism…the Department of Justice on 8-9-2007 released a report that said:

Black Americans accounted for 13 percent of the U.S. population in 2005…but were the victims of…49 percent of all homicides. Among single victim-single offender homicides, about 93 percent of black victims were murdered by black offenders.