If 50 Cent makes a bet and gives his word to retire, you can rest assured he won’t honor the bet, and won’t be good to his word. Being honorable and trustworthy are not part of who 50 Cent is. Although he lost the bet between himself and Kanye West, 50 Cent says:

"No, I’m not retiring."

50 Cent says his album Curtis didn’t outsell West’s Graduation, which opened nationally at No. 1, but, 50 Cent said:

"Curtis was No. 1 internationally the week it came out. It was the No. 1 European album!"

It is true that although Kanye West’s Graduation did make number one in the U.S., "Curtis" scored both the top album and single on the Billboard European Hot 100. 50 Cent says:

"It’s all about the numbers at the end of the day."

If the rules of the bet were applied that would mean 50 Cent would have to retire from the U.S. market, and Kanye would have to retire from European markets. Don’t bet what you’re not willing to lose.

50 Cent is once again in a competition, this time with fairy princess Lance Bass. There is no actual bet since losing to Lance would mean 50 Cent would have to go back in time to kill himself so it would be as if he had never been born, especially after Lance said, "50’s going down, that’s all I have to say." The competition is to see who will sell more books. Will it be Lance with his Out of Sync book, or 50 Cent with his 50 x 50 book? If 50 Cent really did lose he’d probably say something about putting a cap in Lance’s a$$, but Lance would just say something like, "yes please." No matter how this thing "goes down" 50 is going to come out of it smelling like #2.

Paris Hilton is back drinking, and allegedly drugging. Anyone surprised? Here’s more:

An event producer for 50 Cent’s Vegas party loaned Paris Hilton his room key so she and some guy pals could retreat to his room to "smoke" before the party last weekend. A wobbly Hilton then "chugged a vitamin water to quench her dry mouth," said a spy. Earlier in the day at the Kenneth Cole Reaction suite, camera crews were trying to catch her light up a hand-rolled cigarette pool side, but were blocked by security. Hilton’s rep made the expected denials.

No one thinks Paris is cool anymore. At one time she would flip off the authorities, and smoke her joint in public, and tell the man to stick it. Now, she is the man.

Most recently Paris attended the Emmy Awards and hit the bar hard. Afterwards she could barely stand, and tried to climb an iron gate to her friend’s house. She doesn’t take no for an answer. Too bad it isn’t legal to electrify the gate. If only someone could do everyone a favor, and direct her to climb the lion’s cage, and pet the pretty kitty.

Dave Grohl, from the Foo Fighters had this to say about Paris:

"Paris is f***ing lame. She’s more offensive to me than anything. She’s a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her."

Dave is a prophet. If he ever runs for class president, he’s got my vote.

The reaction today to Britney Spears 2007 MTV Video Music Awards performance is ranging from shock to horror, but no one is surprised. The AP said:

As in most train wrecks, it was hard to focus on just one thing as the Britney Spears disaster unfolded. There was just so much that went wrong. Out-of-synch lip-synching. Lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home. The paunch in place of Spears’ once-taut belly. At times she just stopped singing altogether, as if even she knew nothing could save her performance.

The AP reports just the facts. The New York Post said:

…why was Britney Spears’ totally lame, pathetically lip-synched Video Music Awards performance at the Palms Casino last night allowed to be seen by the rest of the world? Spears was stuffed into a spangled bra and hot pants and jiggled like Jell-O as she sleepwalked through the song. She didn’t seem to care that she danced like she had a pantload, that her lips weren’t synched with the song, and that the tune isn’t all that great.

The New York Daily News said:

Glassy-eyed and out of step, Britney seemed lost in a sea of pole dancers and overmuscled male models who groped her so much she wasn’t even mouthing the words by the time her number ended. Cuts to the audience revealed fellow artists rolling their eyes. 50 Cent looked like he might have just thrown up in his mouth, and Rihanna was flat-out laughing to a table guest.

And Us Magazine said:

Following a dismal performance of Spears’ new single, "Gimme More," a source tells Us that Spears was spotted "crying badly backstage. She’s devastated. She was really nervous and knows she screwed up." The singer may have had an inkling of what was to come prior to her performance: A VMA insider tells Us that Spears fired her hairstylist right before going on.

Click here to see Britney’s MTV Video Music Award performance if you missed it. These reviews are far too kind. Look at 50 Cent’s face below during Britney’s performance. It’s the look of shock and horror. With all the gore and violence 50 Cent has seen on the streets, Britney’s performance is the one that will leave him shaking, and scared to sleep alone at night. When 50 Cent left the VMAs last night he was as white as Michael Jackson, and kept mumbling, "The horror, oh the horror."

Sarah Silverman may have flubbed her joke about Britney’s kids being "adorable mistakes," but Sarah made up for it when she made 50 Cent smile, and almost made Paris Hilton cry. Today Britney is adding Sarah to her list of excuses for a poor performance. Days before Britney performed concerns were already being voiced about her lack of rehearsing, and drinking till 3 a.m. Sarah’s performance wasn’t very funny, in fact, I laughed harder when I hit my thumb with a hammer this morning. Why did I have a hammer? I was trying to kill a fly, and I couldn’t find a fly swatter. Why would I do that? The same reason guys don’t ask for directions. Whatever works, right? Later I’ll be doing guy stuff, like patching holes in my walls. My work never seems to end.